sitting.. waiting.. wishing..: marblesIII

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Friday, July 15, 2005
marblesIII

And so he ate..what a treat for a kid..

Maybe it was the milk that made him feel sleepy..and so he went to bed..it was about 9 in the evening then..He took his pillow and hugged..oh, what a feeling it feels so cold and yet he liked it..the cold makes him feel numb, it makes him feel like someone..but it came to be someone he does not like..

30 minutes later..he lied in bed wide awake as if he never felt sleepy..it was never the milk..he looked above the ceiline..the white ceiling..such an open space of nothingess..no lizards..spiderwebs..or trace of dust..just an open space..what a waste..so plain..like no life at all nothing to brag about..nothing to be proud of..

an hour later..still awake..he never felt sleepy at all..it was just plain him wanting to get away..trying to hide from all of these by what..by sleeping..by closing his eyes and forgetting everything from a mere 8 hours or so..gathering strength from sleeping..both physical and emotional strength..

but why sleep? when he might see you..the sandman..what dreams will he see..a monster..a happy dream? then what!? he'll wake from his dream at the middle of the night with tears on his eyes..from such nightmare..nightmares he can't recall..things that he doesn't remember but he knows it makes him feel weak..it makes him feel like nobody..like a cold pillow that needs warmth..an empty ceiling that needs some life into it..yes got to sleep..you might feel better..yes try to dream..think of a dream..think of someone you want to dreamt of..and yes..when you open your eyes a dream is only a dream..and maybe just maybe try to go to sleep again..

Stupid_Doug sitting... waiting... at 7/15/2005 09:56:00 AM | 0 comments

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[ 'bout me. ]

"raymond j. san diego. aka monmon / momon / esdi / sd. Graduating psych student. Gemini. Suffers from bipersonality disorder. Could last a day without talking. Or could be the most manic person the next minute. Also suffers from sleep paralysis. Loves the color green. Love dogs. Loves to sweat it out. Loves spongebob. Frustrated cook. Frustrated singer. Frustrated instrument player. Too optimistic.Too passive at times that he would laugh about things. Too preoocupied with himself that he's talking in third person. "

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