Saturday, April 01, 2006
time will tell i just fell. i once told a friend how things seemed to be short but sweet. i guess she agreed with me and i was right. i am. those moments was simply an hour for you. a couple maybe. but it was all worth it for me. if you only knew how every pore in my body. how every hair and inch of my skin was smiling. you said our hues were boring. we are boring. it was all coincidental but i thought it was sweet. it may actually be His doing. you smiled and i was about to vomit. but i closed my mouth and tried my best not to vomit. i think i swallowed them. it is quiet silly if you would see all those butterflies coming out of my mouth. short but sweet.
i was told that i was brave. i think it was my sister who said that. she admire my "bravery". if she only knew the amount of courage i had summoned to do that. if i were a British soldier during the renaissance period they would have probably given me a white feather for my bravery. or the lack of it. white is good. it symbolizes cleanliness and purity. what you are. what makes me coward. not brave.
fear. has left me paralyzed. but you have become an ear. removing the f. i think i have left you with no choice. whether you like it or not. i hope it's fine with you. you have inspired and motivated me. with words and simply being an ear. you have helped me move from this state of numbness. how long this will last? only time can tell.
i still live in fear. and this is a proof.
between you and me. a space. you need some. i may need some. space is good. it gives room for growth. i dont want to jeopardize. or ruin. things. plans. that you have laid-out. i know. i dont fit-in to such plans. that's why space is inevitable. space between. does not mean. will never mean. that i will forget you. never. for such space. is a necessity for our growth. for i can never be a part of you. for now. maybe tomorrow i could be. time will tell.
you seemed to be too much for me. i am not worthy. i once told a friend. i guess i was right again. partly. i probably need some more time. time to grow. to be better. for in time i can be a better man. much better. for you. so that you can be proud of me. only time can tell. so many things. thought. words. that i would love to share with you. but time is short. but sweet. and in the end. only. time will tell. can tell.Stupid_Doug sitting... waiting... at 4/01/2006 09:30:00 AM | 0 comments
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[ 'bout me. ]
"raymond j. san diego. aka monmon / momon / esdi / sd. Graduating psych student.
Gemini. Suffers from bipersonality disorder. Could last a day without talking.
Or could be the most manic person the next minute. Also suffers from sleep paralysis.
Loves the color green. Love dogs. Loves to sweat it out. Loves spongebob.
Frustrated cook. Frustrated singer. Frustrated instrument player.
Too optimistic.Too passive at times that he would laugh about things.
Too preoocupied with himself that he's talking in third person. "
[ Speak up!. ]
