Sunday, April 01, 2007
summer na! Work has been kind to me, and i think it has helped me find myself and get to know myself better - i'm starting to know myself more and begginning to understand and what i want. First, I realized that i am actually a "mild perfectionist", when i do something wrong i want to start all over again. I want to start from scratch so as to correct myself, and when i made a mistake or something doesn't turn out right i simply lose focus and feel that i'm not fit for this certain thing. Don't we all feel that way? We all want to fit through the scheme of things. We want to discover what we're good at and eventually be passionate about it. Secondly, I learned that i'm actually a "workaholic" and "impressionistic" - is there such a word? (my vocabulary sucks..hehe) I tend to take my lunch around 3 or 4 because i really want to finish my work and not make the applicant wait that long - so as to make a good impression..But lately i've become more relax with work. Lastly, i've known this before but i dare to emphasize - i'm really passive and reflective. Passive in the sense that i don't care what my colleagues are doing aroung me..I simply work, i don't kiss-ass and it's really not my nature. I just simply do my job, and i don't care if my boss would notice or not - just do it (swoosh!). Reflective that i think over things - this is in connection with being a perfectionist. I like to think things over and over and over because i'm afraid to commit a mistake or maybe offend people. Yeah, i know to over think is just sick.
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The past few weeks i've been having trouble waking up. (buti na lang flexi sa office)..hehe..I'm so alone sa bahay. Bakasyon na pinsan ko..Si ate umuwi na sa Bulacan, si sanse naman panay and duty kaya mag-isa lagi sa bahay. Masaya naman sa actually, eto nga ung preference ko tlga - mag-isa. Pero may mga moments talaga na ang hirap din ang mag-isa.
Kahapon kinasal ung pinsan ko sa father side. First time kong umattend ulit ng kasal since ng nag-ring bearer ako nung bata pa ako na nag-tantrums pa ko..hehe. Nahiya tuloy ako sa sarili ko ano bang ginagawa ko nun at umiyak pa ko at ayaw kong lumakad..hehe.. Anyways, balik sa topic un nga kinasal siya tapos sa October naman yung isa kong pinsan sa mother side then by Jan or Feb ung kapatid naman nya..what's happening? Eyun nga, naisip ko di ko ata kayang magpakasal (ung whole process ah) napaka-mushy nya para sakin - alpha male kickin in.
Ang hirap gumising lately baka dahil sanay na katawan ko na kapag ganitong buwan or kainit na ang panahon naliligo na ko sa pool or tanghali na talaga dapat ang gising ko.
Less motivated + less inspired = want for more sleep? It's difficult to dream. "when you're dreaming with...waking up is the hardest....darararara down on your kness....dararara...for a moment as if...dararara...you can't breath..
Start na din ng holy week! I really need this break to pray and do more soul-searching. I'm looking forward sa visita iglesia and especially yung pizza na kakainin namin ng family ko..hehe..it tastes better. much better.Stupid_Doug sitting... waiting... at 4/01/2007 06:08:00 PM | 0 comments
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[ 'bout me. ]
"raymond j. san diego. aka monmon / momon / esdi / sd. Graduating psych student.
Gemini. Suffers from bipersonality disorder. Could last a day without talking.
Or could be the most manic person the next minute. Also suffers from sleep paralysis.
Loves the color green. Love dogs. Loves to sweat it out. Loves spongebob.
Frustrated cook. Frustrated singer. Frustrated instrument player.
Too optimistic.Too passive at times that he would laugh about things.
Too preoocupied with himself that he's talking in third person. "
[ Speak up!. ]
