sitting.. waiting.. wishing..

it's been awhile

2007-09-02T12:41:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i've posted something on my blog. Honestly, I've been havving problems logging in, forgot my password and all....For the past few days i've been thinking a lot, contemplating due to boredom and lack of things to do beside work.. Everything is just so ordinardy and routinary, "Life really is a routine. It's just a matter of perspective that would make everything fun" - my alterego speaking. I took my first leave two weeks ago, after almost 9 months and I took another leave last Friday. I actually watched "1408" and I tell you the storyline sucks! I was in the middle of the movie and I wanted to get out...Afterwards, I needed a buffer from the awful movie that I watche so I watched "Evan Almighty" and it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. Nonetheless, it was a good stress buster from work.

This has been what's goin on with my life - I do watch movies almost every pay day weekend w/ Michael. And i do watch alone before going home to Bulacan and I think I've been into all the moviehouse in Gateway. How pathethic. hehehe...I saw Pai twice at Podium and the snob that she is - she didn't even said "hi!". Just joking Pai! How time flies...It's been a year since a quit med school and decided to try a different journey. Yes, there are nights wherein I ask myself if i have been more patient - the why I'm patient with work. What if worked a little bit harder? - the why I do now. Questions that will never be answered. But i always tell myself that it's up to me to make all things rights and I must say that I'll never get the answers that I want, things that i really want to do with my very young life, "We have the rest of eternity to search for happiness", I firmly belive that we are all in a quest for what makes our lives worthwhile and we will only find fulfillment once we are old and gray. The humans that we are we will always look for answers and we will be happy but it's only in the end that we can always say that "I really did my best and I'm really happy about". Right now, I just go with the flow.

Yes. i do watch movies alone and it really sound pathetic. But what can I do? I get leaves on a week day. WHerein everyone is at work and/or school and more importatnly I am single. I have to admit it's hard to stay single most especially when everyone at work has a significant other. Boyfriends go and fetch after work, Girlfriends fighting over the phone and leaves taken so that they can date. Ho humm...You left at your desk mumbling and doing your work. I'm not bitter and jealous, I'm happy where I am but it's hard when people aroung you are asking you why in the world are you single? Well, I just laugh and answer "Ganun talaga eh". It's hard being single but it can really be good also. You don't have to strees yourself over managing your time because you have all the time in the world for YOURSELF..you get to love yourself and splurge for YOURSELF..now i'm sounding selfish..hehehe..Honestly, I'm just patiently waiting...Waiting for the time, for that person - insert all mushy stuff-.....I just took a step backward and maybe just maybe when the right time comes I'll be back again but right now i'm just happy where I am - what I am. Then again I'm also growing tired of it. I'm confused.hahaha! just sitting, waiting and wishing will do you no good. (=

rainy season

2007-06-23T18:59:00.000+08:00

Rainy season is here to stay. I feel so blessed the past weeks, and Im really overwhelmed and thakful for all of these. And also a part of me is afraid about the law of averages that everything that is happening right now might be replaced or negated by something bad. But that would be another story huh? I'm so ahppy and thankful for all of these and it's so nice to share these things with my family and friends and wouldn't even be better if I can share it with someone special aside those I mentioned previously. I guess you can't have all the things you want at the same time. Thank you Lord for all of these.

company outing

2007-06-09T10:43:00.000+08:00

Company outing namin 2 weeks back.. Yun pasok sa office ng 9am tas alais ng 3pm papuntang EK..ang saya kahgit medyo may ambon parang nung pumunta tayo dati ng class na may bagyo pa nun kaya madaming di nakasama..Anyways, it was really fun and we were given 200 worth of wizard money..wow! haha! inubos ko siya sa pizza at pepsi ayaw ko kasing magheavy meal baka kasi isuka ko lang..haha! sayang wala ung anchor's away naka-maintenance tienes. Halos nasakayan ko lahat except sa log jam ang haba kasi ng pila eh..pero bawi sa rio grande thrice ata kami dun at basang basa talaga ako hanggang underwear.hehehe..Nanalo pa ako ng giraffe dun sa basketball.hapi! hehe..Tas dumating si BAmboo pero di ko na napansin kasi kasalukuyang na sa space shuttle ako nun habang kinakanta nya yung Kisapmata at sa isang kisapmata nagpaikot-ikot ako sa space shutlle at same feeling na hindi ka makahinga sa bilis at against the wind yung takbo niyo kaya habang sumisigaw ka eh balik sa bibig mo lahat ng hanging..haha..! it was really fun. Wish you were there.

end of summer

2007-06-02T23:18:00.001+08:00

tapos na ang summer buti nakapag-beach ako kahit papaano. ang lakas ng ulan the past few days at nung araw na nagdala kong payong papasok ng opisina sabay ang tigil ng ulan - naging summer ulit.

okay sa HSBC -Manila 2 na talaga ako sabi nung kasama ko na naunang napunta sa Manila 2. Tapos kanina nakasametime (parang YM sa office), yung assistant manager (AM) ko na nasa Alabang, dun talaga ko narereport. At sabi niya may bagong AM na na-hire at dun na daw ako magrereport. Sabi ko "mamimiss nyo ba ko?" "oo daw" "sabi ko "mamimiss ko kayong lahat". Ewan ko ba sabay nag-call outs ako nun tapos nanginnginig boses ko nung kausap ko yung applicant sabay na medyo naluha ako. Nagulat ako sa sarili ko bakit bigla akong naluha, oo mamimiss ko din mga boss ko sa Alabang kahit 'di ko talaga sila nakatrabaho as in kasama sa opisina. Mamimiss ko talaga sila, yung pagiging mapagpasensiya nila sakin, sa paginitindi nila sa pagiging lalaki ko (mahina daw sa details ang mga lalaki). Which was proven wrong by my girl teammate...Hehe..Actually ako lang ang lalaki sa team yung bagong AM babae din. HAys.. Mamimiss ko sila kung kelan pa naman medyo nakakaintindihan na kami..KUng kelan pa naman nagiging ko ang lahat..Nung una ang pakiramdam ko napabayaan ako dahil pinadala ako sa Ortigas. Pero hindi pala, naaawa pala sila sakin kasi nag-iisa ako.. Nag-symphatize ba, at naiintindihan nila kung bakit ako nagkakamali..

Ngayon bago na namang adjusment matapos mkaadjust..Sana mabait yung bago kong AM, mamimiss ko ang mga Alabang girls at PBCom Gals...Wala na akong marereceive na email na nakaaddress as "Hi girls and boy"..Bago na namang challenge, at good news pa ata..At long last after two months (sabi two weeks lang daw ako sa Ortigas) magkakaroon na ako ng bagong kasama aside from the AM. My bagong hire na fresh graduate from UST din. Rochelle ang name nya at magna cum laude. At siyempre nagsearch na ako sa mga koneksiyon at nalaman kong Section A pala siya, sabay search sa friendster..sabi ko sa sarili ko: "pwede"..Hahaha! Sa thursday kami unang magmeet at tuturuan ko daw sabi ni old AM ko. Exciting na nakaktakot kasi ngayon ala na akong reason or excue kapag nagkamali ako kasi may kasama. Ang good news ay ang posibilidad na ang dati kong pinapasok sa 12 hours ay mababawasan sa ehem...sna 10 hours na lang..sana ok si new AM at si new partner ko.

I'm happy and sad at the same time. Mamimiss ko talaga sila, kahit na di ko naman talaga sila nakasama sa workplace yung fact na my "bond" na nabuild and the fact that i'm leaving those that I grew fond of for the past 7 months medyo mahirap maalis yun. Oh well, we all need to grow.

Andami ko nga plan gusto. A few weeks ago, sabi ko sasarili ko habang na sa FX ang tagal namang maglabas ng Maroon 5 and Linkin Park ng new album. At viola! biglaang tumugtog ung 2 banda ng newwest single nila..Ayun gusto kong bumili ng album nila tas kailangan ko din ng new wallet..tapos..tapos...gusto ko din ng jacket..pati ano pa.. yung body bag..tapos...wala akong pera..Hehe.. I wish we can welcome the rainy days with a smile.. (=

end of summer

2007-06-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

breaking point

2007-05-06T19:36:00.000+08:00

I'm at my breaking point right. Taking everyday one day at a time - redudant like my work..ahehehe..

How do I start? Politics at work is evil, by as the weeks pass by such thoughts seem to disappear but a new problem has appeared. I've made a lot of mistakes at work,eats my confidence and brings me down to my knees. I can't make excuses even if I want to. Having to do a three-man job is really tiring. I can't blame anyone but myself. How long can I take this "punishment"?

False modesty is kicking-in.

I REALLY NEED A BREAK.

sundo

2007-04-21T18:45:00.000+08:00

Sundo - Imago

Kay tagal kong sinusuyot ang buong mundo
Para hanapin, para hanapin ka
Nilibot ang distrito ng iyong lumbay
Pupulutin, pupulutin ka

Sinusundo kita, sinusundo

Asahan mo
Mula ngayon pag-ibig ko'y sa'yo

Sa akin mo isabit ang pangarap mo
Di kukulangin ang ibibigay
Limutin ang kaba tuluyan kang bumitaw
Kaya manalig, manalig ka

Sinusundo kita, sinusundo

Asahan mo
Mula ngayon pag-ibig ko'y sa'yo

... inaasam ang sandali, nilibot ang buong mundo maghihintay sayong sundo

Asahan mo
Mula ngayon pag-ibig ko'y sa'yo

wah! crush ko na si Aiya..hehe..Napanod nyo na ba ung video ne'to? Gusto kong gawin yun maglakbay kung saang lupalop..ahehe..

*****

sabi nung isa naming interviewer mukha daw akong 19 years old..totoo pa lang nakakatuwa ung ganun...ahahaha!

serious mode. in contrast, work is forcing me to "grow-up" without my consent..ahehe..

laughing stock

2007-04-06T18:44:00.000+08:00

Laughing stock. Please correct me, is it one-word or two words? I just met my high school barkada last Maundy Thursday during our Visita Iglesia and he actually on his way to studying Theology after graduating from Philosophy. I was teary - eyed, i hoped he didn't notice.

I miss my high school days..I felt so happy then, they never laughed at me. It's fine to be laugh at, especially when you are funny or doing something well worth laughing at. what if that is not the case?

Is it wrong to feel? is it wrong to be human....i don't want to elaborate anymore. I pity those who laugh. They don't know how to feel.

summer na!

2007-04-01T18:08:00.000+08:00

Work has been kind to me, and i think it has helped me find myself and get to know myself better - i'm starting to know myself more and begginning to understand and what i want. First, I realized that i am actually a "mild perfectionist", when i do something wrong i want to start all over again. I want to start from scratch so as to correct myself, and when i made a mistake or something doesn't turn out right i simply lose focus and feel that i'm not fit for this certain thing. Don't we all feel that way? We all want to fit through the scheme of things. We want to discover what we're good at and eventually be passionate about it. Secondly, I learned that i'm actually a "workaholic" and "impressionistic" - is there such a word? (my vocabulary sucks..hehe) I tend to take my lunch around 3 or 4 because i really want to finish my work and not make the applicant wait that long - so as to make a good impression..But lately i've become more relax with work. Lastly, i've known this before but i dare to emphasize - i'm really passive and reflective. Passive in the sense that i don't care what my colleagues are doing aroung me..I simply work, i don't kiss-ass and it's really not my nature. I just simply do my job, and i don't care if my boss would notice or not - just do it (swoosh!). Reflective that i think over things - this is in connection with being a perfectionist. I like to think things over and over and over because i'm afraid to commit a mistake or maybe offend people. Yeah, i know to over think is just sick.

****

The past few weeks i've been having trouble waking up. (buti na lang flexi sa office)..hehe..I'm so alone sa bahay. Bakasyon na pinsan ko..Si ate umuwi na sa Bulacan, si sanse naman panay and duty kaya mag-isa lagi sa bahay. Masaya naman sa actually, eto nga ung preference ko tlga - mag-isa. Pero may mga moments talaga na ang hirap din ang mag-isa.

Kahapon kinasal ung pinsan ko sa father side. First time kong umattend ulit ng kasal since ng nag-ring bearer ako nung bata pa ako na nag-tantrums pa ko..hehe. Nahiya tuloy ako sa sarili ko ano bang ginagawa ko nun at umiyak pa ko at ayaw kong lumakad..hehe.. Anyways, balik sa topic un nga kinasal siya tapos sa October naman yung isa kong pinsan sa mother side then by Jan or Feb ung kapatid naman nya..what's happening? Eyun nga, naisip ko di ko ata kayang magpakasal (ung whole process ah) napaka-mushy nya para sakin - alpha male kickin in.

Ang hirap gumising lately baka dahil sanay na katawan ko na kapag ganitong buwan or kainit na ang panahon naliligo na ko sa pool or tanghali na talaga dapat ang gising ko.

Less motivated + less inspired = want for more sleep? It's difficult to dream. "when you're dreaming with...waking up is the hardest....darararara down on your kness....dararara...for a moment as if...dararara...you can't breath..

Start na din ng holy week! I really need this break to pray and do more soul-searching. I'm looking forward sa visita iglesia and especially yung pizza na kakainin namin ng family ko..hehe..it tastes better. much better.

movie adik

2007-03-25T19:50:00.000+08:00

I've been watching movies the past few months all by myself..so, pathetic right? Not really, there's nothing I can do
because my day-off usually falls on a weekday, have you ever heard someone taking his break on a weekend? Eventually, I
would take my offset on a friday so that I'll have a long weeken and instead of going straight home to Bulacan, I would
first treat my self to a movie. So let me have a movie review of what I have been watching the past few weeks:
(5 star is the highest)

Night At The Museum

*Ummm, "Big Daddy" meets "Jumanji". My favorite scene: When Ben Stiller met Attila the Hun, so funny! (3 stars)

The Holiday

*Typical english romantic movie. Somehint "Love Actually" with some cost-cutting. You wouldn't believe your watching Jack Black and
that he can be that serious (more serious than "King Kong"). Favorite Scene: When Cameron Diaz started singing "Mr. Brightside". Ewan
parang andun ung empowerment tienes. (3.5 stars)

Music and Lyrics

*same as "The Holiday". The plot is almost the same as "Nothing Hill" with the guy being the star. Funnier than the
Holiday. Favorite Scene: When Hugh Grant started singing his composition for Drew Barrymore..so Mushy! haha! (3.5 stars)

The Sheperd

*I felt like the most stupid person after watching this movie that I had to watch another one movie as a buffer for
my sanity. Favorite scene: When the credits started rolling. (half star)

The Pursuit of Happyness

*Bitin! Once you've seen the trailer it's like you've seen the whole movie. Typical feel good movie. Worth watching
because at the very least you will really learn something. (3.5 star)

Oh well, gone are the days of movies that will really moved you.. the scenes that will stick to your head. MAybe, i'm just
getting old for this. Or maybe screenwriters are really having trouble coming up with new materials. I remember several months ago when the "cool movies" where LOTR, HP, etc..they say that screenwriters are really having problems writing new stuff that will be a blockbuster movie that present movies are either based on books (like HP and LOTR), or re-makes (Kingkong, The Omen) or those from comics (Spiderman, X-men). Well, I think we've seen it all and we are really hungry for more, we want to see things or watch things that will bring our childhood fantasy to life, or somethingthat will entice our imagination (parang pagkain.hehe). That is why movies that realy hit our taste are those with more visual effect...I don't know, anyways I'm tired of writing. Ciao!

Pinalabas na ba ung movie directed ni m.Gibson bat di ko naramdaman? I'm excited for Evan Almighty, Fantastic 4 , Pirates and Spiderman 3.hehe..

***

Na-get together kami with HR-Alabang ng HSBC. Redbox and dinner..actually ung mga taga-Alabang ung mga nag-videoke tas kming mga PBCom nag-billiard..try ntin yun! mukang mag-enjoy tayo.hehe..

***
Andami kong gustong gawin..gusto kong mag-road trip papuntang la union, or pangasinan or better yet ilocos! gusto ko kumain ng bangus tska yung parang litson kawali nila..gusto ko din mg-EK..gusto ko din mag buffet sa saisaki..gusto..

after 10 years

2007-02-28T19:45:00.000+08:00

I just wanted to share this letter with you guys, medyo late na for the season. Umiikot sa intranet sa office 'tong letter na 'to unfortunately alang internet
access sa station ko (pang-managers lng meron). Confidentiality issue daw kasi..ahehehe..kaya print sabay type ulit ako..ahehehe..

For those falling "in" or "out" of love or wishing one day they will.

I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me,
if like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long ot find each other.
Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended.
I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you.

I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies?
Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other?
Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the asnwers to all my questions.

Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever known "love".
I do not have the asnwer to that question either but I believe that, more often than not,
we will never really know what love is until we find the right person...
and since I have not found you yet, then may be I do not really know what love is!

You just don't know how often I dream of finally knowing what if feels like to be in your arms.
Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet!
Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile, or your eyes,
or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways!

I don't really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes.
I think of all the pain that I have gone through the past and how much I have cried since the day I began my search.
I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me-- the life I shall spend with you.
In my mind and in my heart I know that you are all that pain and sacrifice.

After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away
my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect --- for YOU!
I wonder if you've been hurt so many times along the journey.

But my dearest one, please don't ever give up because I am right here... patiently waiting ofr you!
I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.

At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky,
hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me.
I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking that in time they would reac you.
And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way
and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams.
It seems that, for now, that is the only place where i can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you.
In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love.

And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough,
you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured hat you are worth the wait.
And when that time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I had imagined,
just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be!

By then, I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through,
in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life --- and I would be very thankful because they all
lead me to you!

In the meantime, take care of yourself for me.
Hold on to our dream and don't even think of letting go.
Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens.
God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions.
Don't worry, don't be afraid about getting loss, God saw to it that all roads,
no matter which one you choose to follow, lead to me.

*****

I was struck by Mareng Cynthia's post. What's the purpose of work?
Wake up. take a shower. (if time would allow) eat breakfast. go to work (hopefully on time).
do your job. eat lunch. go home. ride the bus/mrt/lrt/taxi/fx/jeep. eat dinner.
take a shower. watch tv. read. go to sleep.do those things all over again.
Yes, you earn money. save it. use it. buy stuff. eat what your taste buds long for.
treat some people or simpy treat yourself. After that there's the feeling of fulfillment.
It will last for a few days, hours, minutes, seconds..then you feel not empty maybe half-empty.
You work your ass off, try to reach your quota. Do some overtime. You smile when you reach your target.
for hours, minutes, seconds..then you feel something's missing.
You palpitate just having the thought of your boss scolding you. or maybe committing some mistakes.
Your boss would remind you of your errors --- constructively. A feeling of relief sets in.
Minutes, seconds..you would like to feel for more.
You look at the clock. and see the clock strike at 5 or 6 or 7.
For a second your happy. Your going home.
And then what?
Sometimes, I do feel that I only work because "it is my duty".
I get paid for doing stuff.
I want more. I want to have more passion. reason.
For what? that is yet to be discovered.
Hooo hummm..I hate this feeling. I really do.
When can this stop? OR will it stop?
I should believe it would stop. and it will.

May point nga si MAreng Cynthia. Ano bang ginagawa ko? Pinapayaman nga lng 'tong kumpanya 'to.
Oo, binabayaran ako. pero di naman lahat nababayaran, di lahat nabibili.
Paibaiba ang moods. hays..todo kaba ka kapag may maling nagawa na parang gusto mo ng umiyak.
tas kapag nalusutan mo..buhay ka na naman..tas paulit..ulit.ulit..ulit..ang ganung scenario.

My mantra for the past few months has been: "I'll do my best and God will take care of the rest"
and then I came across a book and I've been trying to instill this thinking from that book.
It says: ""Do what you don't like to do, and you will know what you want to do". I've been holding back sa office, when it
comes to my relationship with them. I try to keep everything professional. It's so hard to build new relationships, especially
when you have that thinking that it may end quickly, add to the fact that some are just hard to be friends with,
some are hard to trust and especially when at the back at your head you feel that they may actually have some sort of
propaganda against you. Tas ung tipong sira na ung image mo sa mga nasa kabilang site dahil sa mga mali na di naman
talaga ang may gawa.Ang hirap maparanoid! wah! Di mo alam san ka lulugar. I'm friends with some but the relationship is not that deep.
Iba trip nila. Yosi. Alak. Bars.Things that I never do, and never plan to do. Basta iba ang morals nila.

****

We'll do it all.Everything. On our own.
We don't need.Anything.Or anyone.

If I lay here.If I just lay here.Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know.How to say.How I feel.

Those three words.Are said too much.They're not enough.

Forget what we're told.Before we get too old.Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time.Chasing cars.Around our heads.

I need your grace.To remind me.To find my own
If I lay here.If I just lay here.Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

All that I am.All that I ever was.Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where.Confused about how as well.Just know that these things will never change for us at all.

bathroom

2007-02-07T21:17:00.000+08:00

"can i go to the bathroom?" - applicant

"tol maliligo daw cya" - officemate

okay. This reminded of one of my "favorite past time" - mind the quotation marks. Don't you just hate seeing molds on your sink or seeing you toilet bowl so filthy..i hate the sight of such things and so i decide or opt to clean the toilet. some may see it as disgusting but actually i find it therapeutic. i simply go in, lock myself in and grab a sponge some soap (you know that domex is the greatest thing in the world, especially the lemon scent..d matapang) then start scrubbing..Beforehand, i would actually bring my cellphone with me and start playing my collection of songs which adds mood to my so-called "me-time"..such moments are nice for contemplating while you scrub away all those molds or endlessly put as much soap as you can..all the sweat and hardwork is paid off, after seeing and smelling your newly-cleaned toilet..so bango..hehe..

it's hard to understand why such chore could be so fun, but i've read from an author that the agony of doing such things would make you appreciate the little things more and mroe..and i could not agree better..FYI. the dirtiest thin in your toilet is not the toilet bowl but your toothbrush.yup! and make sure that your toothbrush has a cover because once you've flush the toilet, air residue from the bowl would go up and reach your toothbrush - from lower energy to higher energy (but still i don't do this.hehe). Anyways, abck to our topic..i find such chore very amusing because for an hour or so i become alone in our own little place. it's just me, my sponge, my cellphone and a nice little room to clean. it gives me a sense of relief from the busy world, it's nice to be here. i feel at home in your own little kingdom.

****

guys, baka my gusto sa inyong mag-apply for test admin preferably people from QC or somewhere near Commonwealth (Manila, Caloocan, Bulacan,etc)

senti moment s public transpo

2007-01-20T19:02:00.000+08:00

I told Spider-Man that when i I look in her eyes and she looks back at yours..You feel like its quite not normal, because you feel stronger, weaker at the same time..You feel excited and terrified at the same time..The truth is you don't know what you feel except that (you realize) the kind of man you want to be..It's as if you have reach the unreachable and you are not ready for it.. (Peter Parker to Mary Jane)

*****

habang nasa public transpo at nakikinig sa masa radio station narinig ko ang kantang 'to "Maghihintay sa wala, kahit wala ng pag-asa..Bahala na..Maghihintay sa wala, kahit meron ka ng iba..Bahala na.."

hohoho

2006-12-20T18:38:00.000+08:00

i'm 30 minutes early for my time out, so in order to burn some time because i don't want to be undertimed i decided to "type away" my time..hehe..Chirstmas party is in couple of days i'm having the same pre-celebration..umm..i can't say jitters..i don't have the adjective to describe what i fell..lets put it this way, it's like the whole proces, it seems like "i've been there and done that"..you look forward too see the faces and talk with the people you really miss, and it will boil down to going home tired but...well..happy..but i can't take the feeling of loneliness everytime I part ways with people, everytime we go out on an outing or dinner, it would boil down for each one of us to walk alone, ride the taxi with someone then eventually by yourself and instantly have the feeling of loneliness and then utter to yourself "gosh, i do really miss those people"..It's like you will miss them twice because of the nice moments you've just had with them..darn i;m getting too cheessy..haha!

i think that is the reason why i hate saying goodbyes, be it by phone or in person..i just hate those words, for me it's never goodbye but 'till we meet again..is it me or i've heard those words before? hehe..oh well..just thinking out loud.

so hard to think

2006-12-09T17:28:00.000+08:00

i haven't written anything for the past few days and i feel like it is affecting my sanity..work has been nice, so far..but frankly speaking i'm feeling some pressure and fear (from my boss) and i don't know why..last wednesday i was 30mins late..wah! you when your day seems to be so shitty..i was able to ride the bus after about 20mins and after that i got stuck in traffic at makati ave and so i decided to ride a cab and unfrotanelt of all the days thta it could happen the cab that i rode got broke and to make things worse the dirver doesn't know where PBCom tower is..

just a shitty day, u know when your running late and the bus/cab/fx/jeep that your riding would suddenly turn in order to fill up their tank with gas..of all the timing huh? when worse come to well worse..you realize you forgot something and simply put just a shitty day..

it was a very bad wednesday, i don't know why but the pc's in our office broke specifically the ones used for testing and we had to call all the way to Idia, and that call actually gave a relief because it was really funny..

oh well, at least i get to go home after..and after going to sleep i didn't forget to whisper my prayers and still i am very thankful for everything i have right now..yes, i'm still looking for something and still striving for more but i still don't know what that is..but i am very much willing to wait..

i looked outside the window and saw the monn was very beautiful that night..and this song from our childhood days starting playing in my head:

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight.Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight.Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer.That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there.And even though I know how very far apart we are.It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby.It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.Somewhere out there if love can see us through.Then we'll be together somewhere out there.Out where dreams come true.And even though I know how very far apart we are.It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby.It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there.Out where dreams come true

*****

i read may's my space about 3 months ago (i think), and i remembered one question that was asked during her interview..something like "what do you want?" or "what is your dream?" and may answered "to be happy in everything that i will do.."

those words struck me, because that is the very thing that i am looking for, we all are looking for, and yes someday i will be. i rememebred a friend told that "lovelife lng kailangan mo"..right now, i think it's not..my officemate told me a few days ago "ok sya, pra magkagirlfreind ka na din"..and you know what i said? "i don't need a girlfriend" with a lot of conviction and suddenly a little apprehension..haha!

but i was having my reflective moments in the bus, i realized that yes..i was right i don't need another person in my life right now, i don't need to have a gf to make me happy..i want to be happy and complete on my own..i want to realize what i want and what in need on my own..and when i have come to my senses and get a clear picture of what those things are..and just then maybe i can give it try..but hopefully you'll be there..c;

wala lng

2006-12-07T14:14:00.000+08:00

ewan napapahum ako s song na 'to.hehe..

save room for my love.save room for a moment to be with me.save room for my love save a little.save a little for me.won't you save a little.save a little for me - ohh

This just might hurt a little.love hurts sometimes when you do it right
Don't be affraid of a little bit of pain.pleasure is just on the other side

Let down your guard just a little. I keep you safe in these arms of mine
Hold on to me - pretty baby. You will see I can be all you need.

bananas

2006-11-15T22:36:00.000+08:00

bananas..i don't really like eating bananas, i find the taste boring..it's not that sweet and the texture is dry in short nakakasawa..bananas are eaten best with ice cream or milk because in that way it becomes creamy..when i was a kid i used to eat it for breakfast,with milk (minus the cereal)..i remember when i was in elementary that we had a discussion to how many seeds does a banana have and up to now i haven't found the answer..if you would actually take a bite u would see these black seeds and they keep on appearing everytime you would take a bite, so it's hard to determine the number of seeds..

okay, it's hard to find a perfect banana..i'm serious..once you peel the skin and see the banana, you would always see that there's a part that is over ripe or "lamog"..what would you do? quite simple, just cut with a knife or fork, or scoop it with a spoon..and then start eating the good side of the banana..if you think about it, such practice of eating is not really good, in my opinion. why? it's all about acceptance..we all have to take the good with the bad..we just can't ignore the "lamog" part of the banana, you have to take it put it in your mouth, munch, swallow and ingest..one word--ignore.

there are moments wherein we ignore bananas because we find something not so amusing, or we grow tired or sick of it because of the dull taste or poor texture..we may find bananas boring, and as a consequence we simply ignore it..but if we would look deeper we would see something good out of it..bananas are rich in potassium, and it is a preventive measure for pimples plus it is a good remedy for dehydration for it increases the potassium in cells..(i don't want to elaborate it brings back things that i am hiding and/or running away from..harhar)

the bottom line is..bananas are special and it is up to us to discover to how many seeds it has..

****

for he past few weeks i've been singing like crazy on the shower, something i haven't done for a very long time..i always bring my cellphone with me and play songs that like..i hope such "sessions" would never end..

about two weeks ago i was able to watch this show hosted by bernadette sembrano..she featured this blog named coconuter.blogspot.com (i haven't viewed it yet)..the story behind the blog? well, the owner is a balik bayan from the states and he graduated with two majors in an I.T. related course and he had the chance to work with NASA..then, he felt that there is still something missing in his life..he felt that he was sheltered by his family too much, and that he got so engrossed with studies that he overlooked the other good things in life..as a result he left his whole family and went to Olongapo by himself and lived on a small house owned by his grandma..he is jobless but i think his family sends him money because he gets to surf the net and buy some veggies for pinakbet (my own assumption)..furthermore, he also take care of some chicken and also eats talbos ng kamote which grows on his backyard..fortunately or unfortunately, he got a woman pregnant and now they are living together at his house..

so what about it? well, i empathize with him and i can actually relate with him..he named his blog coconut because i quote him "he prays that someday that a coconut will drop from the sky (from God) and he will finnally find his dreams"..as for me? well, i have this gift of dreaming (seeing&feeling) incidents that tend to happen in the future.. "i am sitting on my heels, waiting for some answers and wishing that someday God will show some clues on my dreams, someday i will have a hint to what i would and should be doing"..just a simple clue that will show me want i can do for Him, whatever He would want me to do, and the very reason that would give my life more well--reason..

epol.apol

2006-10-22T16:34:00.000+08:00

About a month ago I read an article in Reader's Digest entitled "How Polite Are We?"..The "researchers" did 3 tests to measure politeness. One, was to how a person would hold a door for the person behind him. Second, was how the person would react when he found a person drop all his belongings and lastly how a person would acknowledge the person on a counter once the latter greets him. Well, Filipinos were right on the middle compared to other Asian countries, it was actually disappointing for me i was expecting more from us..

So how do we really meaure politeness? Is it really how to hold or open the door for another person? Is it how we would greet or acknowledge a person?..I think politeness is more than that. Yes, being polite is how we conduct ourselves towards another may it be in person or not (meaning through simple phone conversation)..A simple "thank you" or "good-bye", "hi" or "hello", "thank you" or "welcome" or simple words that would acknowledge the presence or the pending absence of another..We get to meet a lot of people and i mean a lot..From people who does nothing but curse, to people who are so meek and nice that they can do no harm..Or can they? Even the most eccentric looking person can actually be the sweetest and most polite and the direct opposite can actually be the most impolite and arrogant that you can meet..

I always believed that being polite is partly being able to hold your pent-up and irritated feelings toward another..and as much as possible try not to go to their level for you know and believe that you are much better that they think..It may sound "plastic" but i'm talking about let's say a social gathering like if someone is talking or giving a speech you just can't shout or throw eggs..Show some breeding and there are appropriate place for such actions..

Yes, we get to meet people and some can actually be so impolite..and what can be scary is the fact that we assimilate (if you're weak)and acquire their traits..but not actually lose your personality but sort of immitate their actions (at certain moments) to simply be part of the group (without losing your own persona)..no, there is nothing wrong with pakikisama but there has to be limits..oh yes..i've met this person and it is quite scary and i can feel that some of the traits are creeping in me..but it's about removing the bad apples and eating the good ones..(i really love the good apples i make apple pie out of them..harhar). But, you don't actually throw the apples but simple put it aside and learn to accept the rotten apple. Hence, i sort of "immitate" the bad apple and i can feel that the bad side of the apple can actually be good but there are moments that i feel the "bad karma" of the apple turning on me..and i don't feel good. But i always believed that i can't always assimilate myself to what the society is doing. or should I? i know it may sound like a big deal but it's actually a very simple actions that we all do. and i don't want to elaborate anymore..but i have reached a conclusion that politeness is actually subjective.

minsan nakakainis. minsan nakakatuwa. minsan nakakasakit. minsan nakakagulo.minsan nakakabastos. but we have to love and accept the good and bad side of each and everyone. The way God does. For that is life worth living.

next time i'll talk about bananas.

***********

your approval means to me. your smile, the laughter, the high fives, and most especially you..i miss you the most.
can we bring back the time? the moments we had talking, laughing and sharing some thoughts and opinions.
and just have you beside me. all i get. all we get. all we do is talk. small talk.
i miss you. i'm afraid of you. and be alone with you.
for i am afraid of what i feel. disappointment and frustration.
you have always been there for me. you words and/or lack of it can be hurtful. and i understand.
how i wish, i could feel the same. like before.
when everything felt light. everything was..i miss us.

go.uste.

2006-10-07T11:31:00.000+08:00

After 10 years the UST Growling Tigers finally won the UAAP championship..During the start of the season my former classmate from med and I were so upbeat with the lineup of UST..We were thinking already of final four but our hopes got derailed by the injury of jemal viscarra during their first game against UP..then there was the typhoid outbreak with the team..but surprisingly they won big games against feu, ue and ateneo so everything felt good..it was as if our predictions would still happen and it did..It such a wonder how history repeats itself..Destiny was behin the win of UST, it was our time..God was behind all the scheme of things..Yeah, destiny..and histroy repeating itself..When Joel Banal first coach Ateneo like 3 years ago he won the title after so so years..and what is more surpising was the fact that a #3 seeded ateneo who had a twice to beat disadvantage won over...guess who!? UE! and eventually they won the title..and also remember the time when DLSU should have swept the elimination round? well they only lost one game..and it was against Ateneo and..yes..Ateneo won the championship, and this season UST was the only team who won against them during the eliminations..suprise surpise? no! it was pure destiny..God was in control of everything..

how about the issues of selling games? well, some of it may be a true..there are people who are so engrossed with money that they abuse their power and take advantage of people who are powerless..it happens in professional leagues why not in amateur leagues..

Yeah, i always believed that history repeats itself..We had the 1st and 2nd triumvirate, 1st and 2nd world war and i could go on and on..I guess God has His own way of teaching us..to learn from experiences and to stand by our faith or something that would make us stronger..Yeah, and it's a wonder how i can't learn from past mistakes, well maybe i'm just too dumb to see them..

bagyong milenyo

2006-09-29T14:26:00.000+08:00

Whoa! more that 12 hours without electricity made me think about certain thoughts..it was really a fun time looking outside the window seeing the billboard of burger king being torn apart by "milenyo", trees simply holding on and your windows shaking as if it would break anytime..the aftermath of the storm made me write these thoughts with matching song "sparks" (by coldplay) playing in my head..

Did I drive you away? I know what you'll say.***************I'll always look out for you, That's what I'll do.My heart is yours, It's you that I hold on to,That's what I do.I know I was wrong. But I won't let you down.

****

toni

i was able to watch toni gonzaga at deal or no deal..so what makes her click? well, she's not as pretty as the other starts that we have in the country..but i think her beauty comes from a different level..almost every guy wants a girl who is a "cowboy"..i think you know what i mean, (yes, guys has their own list of ideals for their partners)..it may not be realistic but only an ideal or let's say persona of someone we would like..i think someone like toni excudes that kind of persona well in her showbiz persona that is..guys, would like someone he can ride the jeepney with ,going to quiapo or divisoria during the morning and go to a fine dining restaurant in the evening..someone who can carry herself in jeans and shirt (blouse) and can confidently be in her long dress..someone who can eat isaw with you (she does not have to eat but just the idea of being w/ you)..and guys like girls who are not afraid to look funny and be laught at, at the very same time..Someone who will get her soda out of her nose (ouch!) and find the funny side of such situations..being "one of the guys" can be attracting for majority of guys..and i know some people who thinks that they are really "one of the guys", but who are they to say? we (guys) ourselves can see that and are the sole judge..being one of the guys does not mean that you have to dress like us, that you have to be sporty, or punch like a guy.. or walk, talk, laugh, snore or burp like us..the essence of being one of the guys is being able to be yourself.. the ability to cope and immerse yourself with guys without losing your personality and femininity..isn't that nice!? that what makes guys attracted to such girls, we can be ourselves and girls can be themselves and at the same time we are both having fun..girls who can carry herself and be herself and be proud of it..ano yun movie ni robin williams!? if dreams may come b? haha!

****

(nakuha namin from 10 things i hate about you)

hirit: "they are the kind of girls that we die dreaming about"
isa pang hirit: "not just because you're beautiful, you can treat people like don't matter"
huling hirit: "don't make anyone make you feel that you don't deserve what you want"

****

bangko (bang-ko)

ano nga ba ang bangko? sa unang dinig iyo at upuan subalit kung ikaw ay mahilig sa palakasan ito ay nangangahulugan ng miyembro ng kopunan..marahil sa karahmihan ay masama ang maging bangko..pero may mas malala pa sa pagiging bangko..ano kamo yun? edi maging manonood..lalo na kung pangarap mo o mithiin na makasali sa laro..mahirap maging manood, ma-bilang lamang sa "stands"..ang galing mong mag-miron, andami mong alam at sinasabi sa tingin mo ay tama..pakiramdam mo ay napakagaling mo..ang katotohanan sa likod ng mga ganitong komento ay ang kagustuhan mo na magkaroon na pagkakataon na masali sa laro..na magkaroon naman ng mga tao na sumisigaw para sayo..mahirap talagang maging manonood, habang buhay at kahit kailan ay di ka makakasama sa laro..gusto mo sana kahit bangko ka lang, makasama ka man lang sa listahan ng maglalaro, gusto mo na kahit papaano ay may tiyaynsya ka na makalaro at mapansin..na makita ka naman niya na lumingat man lang siya sayo..na pumalakpak man lang siya sa pagtakbo mo..na isigaw nya ng pabulong ang pangalan mo..na makita ka niya sa ibang paraan at di ka man lang isang mukha sa likod ng crowd at sumisigaw..tumatalon..marahil ala ka na talagang pagkakataon.."outside looking in"

****

Christmas is near. and so the kid wrote all wishes on the Christmas list and put it on the red sock hanging on the chimney..the list was so long, it included all that the kid wanted..A new pink dress, a teddy bear, a barbie doll, a doll house, pair of shoes, kiddie make-up and the list goes on..Santa got hold of the list through his hardworking elves, and pretty much like any other kid, the kid won't receive all those gift..One gift per kid, Santa doesn't want them to develop greediness..One toy was left off the list. This toy was so sad that it wasn't included in the list..Yeah, the toy knew that even if he was included in the list there was a big possibility that he won't be given to the kid..oh well, but just the thought of being in "the list" would have made the toy happy..the slim chance of being picked from all those toys would have been great..The toy believed that it doesn't stand a chance against that pretty dress, or the round cute eyes of that teddy bear,or the golded long hair of her favorite doll, or the cute little barbie..the toy realized that "the list" is far too much for him, and being put beside those toys would only make his disposition worst..the stitch on his forehead would be quite noticeable, the short tail, hindlegs that are far too short, the dry fur, the face and all..the peculiarity and obscurity would be too much....

2006-09-10T16:52:00.000+08:00

alang mgwa kundi sound trip..nanalo p uste s cheerdance khit 'di ako na-elibs..hehe.. nakakamiss ang non-stop 'di kasi nagsponsor..hmmm..bakit kaya? bka mga taga-dlsu top honchos nila tas ala nmng dlsu kya wag na lng daw..hehe.

****

kumusta na. nandyan ka pa ba. wala na yatang ibang magagawa. kundi tumawa.
nandyan pa ba. mga ala-ala. ang tanging bagay na naiwan. sa 'ting dalawa
wag nang paikutin ang isa't isa. lahat ng bagay ay malinaw na. di na rin kailangan pagpilitan pa. di mo na kinakailangan pang magsalita. nakita ko ng lahat ito
pinahihiwatig ng mata mo. salamat na lamang sayo. ohhhhhhh....

*****

Oh no, what's this? A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle.
So I turned to run. The thought of all the stupid things I've done.
I never meant to cause you trouble. I never meant to do you wrong.
I, well if I ever caused you trouble. Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.

*****

my post pa pla ko bout yesterday nxt tym na lng..ala ako sa mood..hehe..

argh!

2006-09-08T10:32:00.000+08:00

if you were to select 6 cd's playing in your car what would be?

1) Sitti - Cafe Bossa
2) Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane
3) Orange & Lemons - Strike Whilst the Iron is Hot
4) Hale
5) Coldplay - Rush Of Blood In To Your Head
6) ...ala pa...

trip.lng

2006-09-01T10:01:00.000+08:00

isa 'to sa mga songs ng favorite movie ko..kuno...wahaha!!! asar d ako mkapag-tag..

Wouldn't it be nice - The Beach Boys

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby

wala.lng

2006-08-28T15:37:00.000+08:00

wala lng naisip ko lng nung ngaapply kmi nila myk wat if mag-kitakita
tayo tas magccolege uniform tayo..hehe..kasya pa ba sa inyo!? ;P

now what!?

2006-08-20T06:12:00.000+08:00

i can't think straight. my head seemed sore. let me get back on my feet. i'll just start scribbling.

i've been thinking of something to post but my thoughts seems to be incoherent or my brain isn't realy working..i desynthesize myself from anything or everything that involves reading, i stopped reading books or magazines the only thing i've been reading are newspapers and i only started reading stuff last week just to burn time.

<span style="font-style:italic;">i went to sleep. and there were no dreams. i stood at the mirror. i saw a stranger. i tried to run. but my feet hurts.

i used to look forward to things but lately, i just can my head straight and the vision is unclear. i can't see things on their proper perspective. i am lost and confused. i need more time.

i thought of you. the way i shouldn't be. i must stop. i should stop. time can be a torture. but everything will eventually fall into place. i would find my place.

i've been watching lots of dvd's and catching lots of sleep during night time..during the summer i've been accustomed to siestas (for about an hour) but lately all i get is a nap during the afternoon..it's really a wonder when your not stressed..hehe..i've also been donwloading oldies songs for my dad..oh well..haha!

i once told a friend how i wanted things to be.
how i wanted things to be for **
how i would like things to be for **
how much i **
how!?

song.4.the.moment

2006-08-14T15:31:00.000+08:00

In My Place

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah

I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I wait for you

If you go, if you go
Leaving me here on my own
Well I wait for you

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
Oh yeah

i.quit.

2006-08-02T16:27:00.000+08:00

UST Faculty of Medicine and Surgery motto: "Not All Deserving Are Privileged"

oh well. define irony? irony is when a friend begins his work on the same day that you quit from med school. oh yes after only 2 months i left med school. yes, i was privileged to go to school med school but i know from the bottom of my heart that i don't deserve it. yes, some dreams are not meant to happen. i left med school with a heavy heart, heavy because i know i disappointed my whole family and maybe some of you reading this..

i realized that i was doing med for the wrong reasons (3 of them) and i don't want to elaborate for i find it too personal..but i'm not closing my doors for med for i dont want to eat my words..as for now i would appply for work and then i know from there i would realize if i would like to go back to med school (if my parents would allow me) or pursue other careers..yes. i left med school with a heavy heart, for i know i am leaving some of friends and some whom could have been my friends..

one lesson i learned from this experience is too listen too other people's opinion but don't accept them, especially if you doubt their opinions..but no one is to blame but me..i am ashamed of what happened, ashamed not of my decision but to what i did to my family's feelings..the most difficult feeling in the world is to disaappoint the very people you love..but i thank God for giving me wonderful parents who are very understanding..

Last night, was a very emotional night w/ my parents and i must leave it at that..i must show my family that i'm happy with my decision..yes, they are all sad..and oh yes..i'm going on hiatus and i don't know for how long but hopefully i'll be back very soon..i simply need to find myself..for my sake, my family, my future family..and to those who has touched my life one way or another..

and thanks to the people who encouraged me.

i.believe.

there's gonna be a blue sky waiting for me..

telenovela

2006-07-24T17:55:00.000+08:00

i've been watching telenovelas lately as sort of rest from a very taxing day..i've been watching sa piling mo (juday and piolo), bituin walang ningning (s.geronimo) also shifting to captain barbel and majica..bgrabe na eto!!! haha! sabay kasi sa rest period ko eh..haha! nagustuhan ko lang itong song na 'to ng ture faith na ost ng sa piling mo..haha!!!

Dahil ikaw ang sigaw ng puso ko
Ikaw ang nasa isip ko
Ang nais ko ay malaman mo
Na ikaw ang tanging pangarap ng buhay
Pag-ibig ko sa iyo'y bibigay
Ang nais ko ay malaman mo...
Na mahal kita...

hayup!

2006-07-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

Okay still adjusting pa din and 'di ko alam hanggang kelan pa 'to or i'm just rationalizing some scenes na nakakatawa/ nakakainis..

classmate 1: "aba! aral na aral ah!"
esdi: hays..wish ko lng..
classmate 2: "ang siryoso ah mukhang nagpuyat"
esdi: oo nga eh..gusto mo ikwento ko syo mga napaginipan ko? harhar
classmate 3: momo!
esdi: boo! monmon! nyahaha! hayup ginawa akong multo!
classmate 4: (naglead ng prayer) "angle of God my guardian dear...."
esdi: ayus ah! uwian na! uwian n! hayup! start p lng ng class uwian mode na tuloy ako..

legend
italicized: speaking to myself

****

sabi ni renz baduy daw itong kanta na ito, pero ala lng gusto ko pa din sya..hehe..

Ako’y alipin mo kahit hindi batid
Aaminin ko minsan ako’y manhid
Sana ay iyong naririnig
Sayong yakap ako’y nasasabik

mishu

2006-07-06T01:33:00.002+08:00

namimiss ko yung makikipot na stairs..ung pulang tiles..ung 2nd cubicle na gnagami ko sa 1st floor..ung 2nd cubicle na ginagamit ko din sa 3rd floor..ung dalawang faucet na mas malaks ung nasa left kesa nasa right..ung maluwag na classroom..ung pagupo sa corridor..ung malalaking bintana..ung ngiti mo tuwing umaga..ung meryenda mo before maglunch..ung tawa mo sa buong araw..ung kakulitan mo..ung boses mo..ung kakulitan mo..oo ikaw! ikaw nga! miss na kita! ..kayo..

***

this song during the communion struck me when i heard mass last Sunday..

'wag kang mangamba, 'di ka nag-iisa
sasamahan kita, san man magpunta
ika'y mahalaga, saking mga mata
minamahal kita..

tep

2006-06-25T18:04:00.000+08:00

Okay two weeks n pla yun parang one month na..musta na ako? eun, gumagapang kahit papano buhay pa at nakakakain (kahit alang gana)..hays, konting adjustment pa..salamat sa frend na umamaoy ng utot ko..thanks! kahit alam kong nagkaka-compassion fatigue ka na oki lng yun db? training? haha! kwento lang ng onti..dun sa subject namin sa prev. med about mga research..nagtanong c dra..

dra: ano ba mga topic nyo sa undergrad thesis?
**taas ng kamay si UST bio
Ust bio: the effect of strappcho chuvanes on the tienes of chaka
esdi: (talking to himself) ohhh...
dlsu bio: the effect of tienes tienes on the churlalu of chuva
esdi: ohhh..
ust medtech: garlic as an effective intertienes for..
esdi: magtaas kya ako ng kamay..ako ma'am token economy! wahahaha!

****

excerpt from a song

Days swiftly come and go. I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other guys Emotions they stir. The sun is gone. The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall.

best foot 4ward

2006-06-14T18:04:00.000+08:00

when you make a shot you always have your one foot slightly forward, when you make a forehand or backhand your body is sideways and one foot is slightly forward, and everytime your run, of course, one foot is also forward..

"always have your best foot forward"..i think i don't believe in this quote or saying that much..well a little bit actually..i think it's important for some people to always look good in front of others, and simply make a good impression..this situation is very much evident in relationship those that are starting..for some it is very important to be presentable and impress girls that they like..and some girls gets wooed (i said some) by this.. i believe it is natural for men and important for us to "always put our best foot forward" but this should be followed with strict caution..men should always be true to themselves and the people around them..and we should not be afraid to show our true self to those people that we like..we should never wear the ideal persona of those that we like, we should remain truw..we should not be afraid to be rejected..in the first place you may like someone and once this person get to know you and the person got bored or does not like you..we should not feel hopeless, in the first place in relationships feelings should be mutual and if the person could not accept you for what you are..then, it is not the relationship you are looking for..

i remember a show way back wherein there was a scene between fathers or sort of a father support group..all of them had one fear that was "not being the superman that their children or partners wish or wanted them to be"..they feared being sick and unable to provide for their family, etc..the bottom line is "daddy is no superman"..the same case could be applied to us single men..we are not the ideal guys in your dreams, we can never live up to the hype of that perfect man that you dream about and once in awhile we get hurt and we also have mood swings..we can get tired also, and we may also have our moments..but we will always try "not to be the your perfect guy" but be "the perfect guy for you"..it may seem that we don't listen to every word that you say, we may look apathethic and ignorant of things that are very important for you but in the back of our minds we always want to satisfy all your needs and wants..but we can never do that..(borrowing a line from notting hill *the other way round*).."i'm just a simply boy infront of a girl, asking her to love him"..naks! ang cheesy! haha!

simply put, yes it's hard for us to understand girls..and we may appear insensitive and all..but we try our best to understand and read every bit of you..and we just hope you can do the same..understand us.

3minutes

2006-06-08T18:28:00.000+08:00

It was a good three minutes..i didn't do anything i made my self still..i could almost hear the most minute creatures around us shouting and telling me what to do..i could almost feel every air and dust between us whispering every word that i would say..but i ignored all of it, i did not want to ruin this moment..i just want to savor the moment and i know i would just scare you..i'm satisfied just seeing you and maybe having you even for such a short time..if you only knew how much i wanted to rest my head on your shoulders and even my body beside the space that has kept us apart for eternity..one day, someday i would say all the wonderful things about you..and all the the wonderful things that you did to me..maybe.

Your one of the few things that keeps me alive..and the one thing that render me numb and hurting at the same time..Yes, i feel pain..and i don't know why..it's not your fault, maybe this pain could actually be my own doing..yes it's my own doing..and you could very well be my pain and my cure..yes, i do feel pain and i don't know why i keep doing it.

i'm would never be the one to make you smile or laugh
or comfort you in your trying and crying times
and be the one you would call
in your most difficult times
but i'll just be here
as always was and will
sitting, waiting and wishin
to catch a glance of you
and be with you
for a good three minutes.

ala lang

2006-05-28T18:08:00.000+08:00

i've been listening to jack johnson and sitti the past few weeks ansaya!

sitting, waiting, wishing...

kung ika'y magiging akin
di ka na muling luluha
pangako di ka lolokohin
nang puso kong nagmamahal

di kita pipilitin
sundan mo lang
ang iyong dadamin
hayaan na lang
tumibok ang puso mo
para sa akin

kung ako ay mamalasin
na mayroon ka ng iba ka nang mahal
ngunit tuloy pa din
ang aking pag-ibig
magpakailanman

if.only

2006-05-09T07:08:00.000+08:00

This morning while i was having my vaccine the nurse told me to simply relax because the muscle in my arms was contracting and the whole process would hurt in such case..i guess such bodily reactions is normal, when you know pain would be inflicted your reaction would be to expect or prepare for that pain..in this case, the preparation for the pain was the conrtaction of the muscles..i think to some extent having expectations is a good thing, in a way it it is a process of preparing for pain so that if it occur the extent of the pain would be lessened and even better you would feel nothing..getting the same reactions (of pain) would eventually numb..it's like having something go below the surface and once you get out the same thing happens, some could be scare of it..it's as if everything is repeating itself and eventually you be come so used to it, you be come so numb and everything is just natural..oh well, all these thoughts were running in my head..it's fun being alone in a bus, it makes you think..

***

it was a hot afternoon..quite unusual for the rainy season..it was June then, and we were having our serving of tea..cold..iced..fast forward..we were sitting and trying to kill time..hoping to remove all these uneasiness and boredom that we were having for the past hour..can't recall how it started..who started..but i found comfort in you..and you to me..it was the kind of comfort you long for from all those loneliness.

if you only knew what was going through my head..you made me put them into words..i didn't know if you noticed how tears started to come out of my eyes..my voice was cracking..i tried to hide it with my smile..with my laugh..and i was successfull..it was never in my nature to talk that way..that fast.

if you only knew in one blink..everything felt good..i discovered so much..and learned a lot..all those moments that we missed and could have shared flashed through my face..and now here we are..sitting again..but everything is different..so much has changed.

if you only knew how i saw the happiness covering your face..exhilirated. you have found almost everything. you have made your way out. loneliness replaced by happiness. i can see how much you've changed and i believe that so much joy is still in store for you. me? yes, i know you can read me well enough..i'm trying to make may out. finding my way into happiness. i'm never lonely..for i know you're here..but literally i'm lonely but happy..as i put it. we put it. and i know your happy that i'm happy..and enough with the word happy.har har.

if you only knew..we parted ways..words were spoken..some we can't recall anymore..but i will always cherish those moments. and i forgot to tell you "thank you".

if you only knew..how your words sheltered me...how your time made me strong..how your voice covered my ears (and those of others)..how you made me feel..how you made me laugh..and smile.

and again i thank you for making me feel important..that i am someone worth your time..yes, you're right "i was never a nobody"..for in your eyes "i was never a nobody"..and that is enough to keep me going.

remember the day.cause even the impossible is easy when we got each other..one day we're gonna get so high..

homonyms

2006-05-06T16:16:00.000+08:00

12:36 pm. Saturday. May catering si ate mamaya, kasal nung kung sinuman..eto ko, kanina nakahiga sa kama nakatitig sa electricfan..hindi ako makanood ng t.v kasi biglaan na lang tumatawag or nagmimiscol si ate (sa baba lang siya ah.hehe) para magpabukas ng oven or magpabalot ng kung anuman, takot atang magbukas ng oven ayaw magaya dun sa pinsan ko.hehe..eun, taga-antay din ng phone minsan kasi my mga customer si ate na tatawag ako taga-sagot tska ayaw ko sa kitchen ng ganitong oras masyadong mainit..matutulog sana ko pero aalis kami ng 2pm, ihahatid ko siya dun sa wedding masamang napuputol tulog ko nagiging bugnutin ako tska magddrive pa ko ayaw ko ng maulit ung dati (ibang istorya n yun)..ang init grabe! malapit ng mag-ala una ibig sabihin isang oras na lng aalis na kami tapos pagbalik ko magisa na lang ako sa bahay ung parents ko kasi kasama din dun sa wedding as guest ah..hehe..hmm..mag-isa ko mamaya..ewan pero minsan enjoy naman na magisa sa bahay eh..magisa kang magdidiner..hehe..hmmm..cge ipost ko pla 'to pagbalik ko mamaya..tama pagdating ng bahay mag-net ako sandali tapos may ice cream pa sa ref kainin ko yun tapos ung mga alaga namin pakainin ko tapos mag-init na ko ng diner ko..tas higa na lang sa kama manood ng kung anuman..okay set naman na lahat..parang ang hirap maging bum noh!? di ka makaalis ng bahay kasi ala kang pera kung meron man di naman sapat..tapos kaw nga taong bahay eh kaya di ka pedeng umalis..hehe..ganun tlga!

*****

End glisten two yore words
as hue read
four hue can here
me speak.

Hue our deer two me
as par as eye can sea
end eye know this is real.

Eat may and
at any point inn thine
eye know these may and abruptly.

Four we our on a rode
a journey we our taking
all alone.

Eye doe know
that things deeper
inn your site.

Four eye am no one
eye am no buddy
Hue hour two match.

Four some one
like me.

eye can always
bear that pain.

dig dipper
eye tell myself.

playoffs

2006-05-04T15:51:00.000+08:00

almost finish na ang first round ng playoffs. well, i'm rooting for the wizards and kings, ala lng andun kasi favorite players ko na sina mike bibby (kings) and gilbert arenas (wizards)..actually, ok lng sakin kahit sino mag-champion pero i think spurs will win it over the pistons in six games..di nila pdeng paabutin sa game 7, kapag umabot sa game 7 bka pistons pa manalo sa kanila kasi ang homecourt advantage (sa pagkakaalam ko)...pero latelt mukang mas maganda pinapakita ng pistons eh, ang sama tlga ng season ni ginobili (dahil sa injuries).. ang team ko tlga kasi houston rockets kaso naeliminate sila pano ba naman kasi panay injury ung parehong star player (ming ang mcgrady)..oh well, excited na ko for the rockets next season pano ba naman kasi sa kanila ung 8th and 11th pick sa draft..suggestion ko lng kay carrol dawson (gen. man. ng rockets) itrade nila ung 8th pick, 2nd round pick and si rafer alston sa hawks (desperado ang hawks na magkaroon ng point guard) pra sa 1st round pick ng hawks.. tpos magdraft sila ng bigman for their 5th pick (or higher from the hawks)..tapos isang shooting guard or small forward sa 11th pick then may cap space sila from all those trade i-sign nila si speedy claxton pati isa pang guard..la lang, epekto ng paglalaro ng nba live (franchise mode)..at kung hanggang ngyon bnabasa mo pa 'to salamat at interesado ka..cge. change topic naman..

****

nung bata pa ako katulad nyo madami din akong tanong..(take note bata pa ako)

pano kaya kung maglagay ng madaming janitor fish sa pasig river para luminis yun?

pano ginagawa ung butong pakwan? may isang factory kaya ng mga matatanda na kumakain ng pakwan tapos nililuwa nila ung buto nung pakwan para gawing butong pakwan? tapos kaya maalat ung balat dahil sa laway?

pede kayang umulan ng pandesal para walang nagugutom sa mundo?

si smokey manoloto ba tska si anjo every weekend eh nagpupunta tlga ng japan?

kapag nilagay ko ba ung ngipin ko na natanggal sa ilalim ng unan ko eh, matutupad ung wish ko?

pano pag nag-wee wee ako sa may puno tapos mag-evaporate yun tapos magiging ulan na mapupunta sa dam..na magiging inumin nung mga tao sa Egypt?

lahat ba ng finaflash ko sa toilet eh napupunta sa ilog? tapos nag-pupu ako pag-flash ko may naliligo pala sa ilog!?

di ko na matandaan ung iba pero siyempre pagtanda ko nalaman ko ung mga katotohanan sa mga tanong ko pero ung tlga sa pag-wee wee naisip ko posible kaya yun!? har har

****

i want to share this song by chad & jeremy makakarelate cguro ung iba..hehe..napakalungkot nung lyrics but once na narining mo ung song napakasaya niya and upbeat..astig! hehe! luma n ito ah

People say you love another
And that you and I are through
Don't let rumors fly, tell them it's a lie
Say it isn't true

Maybe it's imagination
But I can't help feeling blue
Now that you are here girl, whisper in my ear girl
Say it isn't true, say it isn't true

Well I know that I shouldn't believe it
But have you heard the things they're saying?
Look at me, make me see
It's just a game they're playing

Tell me that it isn't over
Let me hear the words from you
Only you can please me, baby, don't you tease me
Say it isn't true, say it isn't true

booger.com2

2006-05-01T08:57:00.000+08:00

medyo madami 'to ang hirap kasing maglog-in sa blogger cookies chuva eh sabi ko biscuit na lng..har haR..

when i'm feeling blue, all i got to do
is take a look at you, and i'm not so blue

okay i'm not sure with the last phrase. i am writing this on a monday and yesterd was "sunday driving". our family went out to but some stuff, well about it? sunday driving means having to put up with RJ station and listening to 60's to 70's music..and uhh..they paly 3 to 4 consecutive songs! beat that! well, i have grown to love such music from The Beatles, E.Presley to the Lettermen..barry manilow to andy williams, the list goes on...i appreciate them but after awhile you get tired of it..and while we were drving i was telling myself "mag-commercial ka na, mag-commercial ka na" and "dj dumaldal ka na, dj dumaldal ka na" for that was my only chance and our (my father and I) unspoken aggreement if such instance happens, it would be "legal" for the other to change the station..nice huh!? and i thought it was on a presidential decree that each station should at least play 4 opm songs every 2 hours..i guess RJ station is exempted..har har..Fifty years forward, will my future children (hopefully) be appreciating my music!? will my son (hopefully) be singing Maroon 5 songs; will my daughter (hopefully) laugh when she hears me sings Coldplay's hits? Will they find Orange & Lemons, Hale or even much older let's say Eraserheads to be corny or jologs?!

***

guys sino may alam ng song na itech!? sino kumanta!?

do u really know me at all?
will u give the time to catch me when i fall?
are you gonna be that real to me?

isa sa mga kanta na nakakpag-haysss..hehe..

***

i like these moments..moments of simply sitting and facing the monitor and just writing thoughts and ideas that comes to mind..and more importatnly expressing pent-up emotions and it may be good or bad..some might say that all these things could all be a redundancy of past events..and i could only be going through phase..well, they could be right..i agree to some of it..i said some..some of these i learned from a friend..every one goes through phases and it's been part of our lives since we were children..well, i was talking about the physiological aspect..well, how about emotional!? i guess, it's a choice..it's a decision..you go through some sort of feelings and after sometime it may or may not last..how we react to it and may be even learn from it helps as grow even more..the idea of it (emotions) lasting is your own decision..it's something rational, you could stay in it..it could all be a stupid phase but i guess i decide to stick with it..

***

i heard this song that i like..a song that i described as "the story of my life"..and i suddenly remember the time you were singing it..actually humming and then singing..i have to admit and be honest that you don't sing that well..and that's something we have in common..actually, some of the very few things we have in common..but i liked it..yes the idea of you singing..you were very patient that day, something that could also be common, i find myself patient but i don't know about other people..you were very patient with them and i was very patient with it..them the people, it the time..i never wanted the time to end and you were very eager to finish everything..i'm fine with that as long as i get to spend some time.....*mental block*.....

***

excerpt from a song

pag-gising sa umaga
may bakas ng ngiti sa aking mukha
kasama kita sa aking panaginip
sasabahin ko na dapat syo
ngunit..

wala ka na..wala ka na..wala ka na..

mahahanap din kita..

booger.com

2006-04-21T09:19:00.000+08:00

dapat nung monday pa 'to kso nahirapan akong mag log-in sa bogger.com i mean blogger.com..kaya medyo madami.hehe..

***

oh well..holy week just ended and there were a lot of changes this year for our family activies for the past week..during the visita iglesia after 10 years or more we changed the route for our church visits..it was nice actually to see other churches fully dressed during this period..i also got to see old friends and this girl whom i saw the other day (pamangkin daw ng madre)..hehe..and secondly. for the easter mass we went to a different church..instead of our parish church we went to the church runned by my high school "teachers"..they say changed for the better..and i guess it was really for the best..i think this has been the most memorable and influential holy week that i had..maybe i'm starting to grow spiritually but i'm just happy that the past week has been so meaningful for me..i think reading books also helps..

***

an excerpt from my favorite church song which was sang during the communion.

tanging pangarap ko. sana'y bigyan daan. sa landas ko'y hawiin ang buhawi at gulo. ang ulap na nagsisilbing. dilim sa langit ko. tunawin at gawing ulan. daan sa buhay kong tigang. mula sa pagkakasadlak ako'y muling ibangon mo. at umasa kang maglilingkod sayo.
***

i think some of you know that i have good memory regarding faces..i can easily recall or remember the faces of people i meet..this can either be good or bad..good in the sense that i can easily remember people..the problem is that they don't remember me..sometimes i would like to gree these people who were introduced to me before but i hesitate because i know they don't remember me (especially when they met me couple of months ago)..i can also remember faces from pictures..sometimes i appear snobbish because i don't greet these people thay i thought doesn't recall anymore..it is alos hard when you recall the face of this person and you try hard tyo remember where you saw them..but after a few minutes (mentally tiring minutes) i could remember where i saw them..sometimes having "this" could be bad but it could also be good and im actually thankful for having it..

***

yesterday, i went to cabanatuan to accompany my mom..we were driving along the hi-way maybe bet 80-100kph when a herd of cows (about 30)with their sheperd crossed the road so all the cars had to slow down..for a moment everything seemed to have stopped..i just think how tend to live on the fast lane..i had almost same experience with my father wherein i was driving at nlex around 110kph (my father let me had my moment) and after some moment i got tired of driving "too fast" and i simply cruised aroung 80kph..it's funny how eager we can be to reached our destination when we should be enjoying and savoring the journey itself and that what makes all of it fun and memorable.not the goal itself but the process..

***

whispers.murmurs.
behind you.
pause for a moment.
think.
know when to talk.
and when to keep silent.

daydreaming

2006-04-15T08:42:00.000+08:00

THE day was today.i woke up from a dream. in my dream i was talking with you. about the most sensible and senseless THOUGHTs that we have. it seemed strange for in the dream OF mine everything seemed to fall into place. well i was PARTING with reality. i was dreaming that you were dreaming about me. i was WITH someone that time and YOU where busy doing things. all these incident MAKES ME SMILE. FOR someone like me It may only be a dream but that was what i was looking for. it was what BELIEVE and would like everything to be. i greeted a friend. it was her FATEful day of birth. i tried to go back to sleep. hoping my mind WILL FIND A WAY to continue my dream. or maybe something close to it. FOR me it was weird. yes i was upset that the dream was cut short. OUR conversation was cut short. i was happy because our PATHS were simply the same that day. and lucky for us TO MEET. and it was all weird that i was upset. and happy. happy because i dreamt of you. and before i close my eyes for the second time i was still smiling. for the dream almost came to life. and when i wake up for the second time. i will be happy for you where in my dream. but in the end i found out that i wasn't dreaming after all.

balitang.pinoy

2006-04-12T08:46:00.000+08:00

Habang nasa bus ppauwi dumaan sa may newspaper stand ung bus tpos yun may mga broasheet at tabloids. di ko na maalala ung headline nung mga tabloids pero kumbaga ganito mga theme nya "Katawan natagpuan sa poso negro", "LOlo tinaga ang paa ng apo"; "Daga nahuling may kabit na pusa, inadobo ng asawa".

Ewan ko ba bakit napaka-morbid ng mga headlines sa tabloids. minsan nga naiisip ko baka gawa-gawa na lng yun.hehe. wag naman sana. pero naalala ko nung hi-school may journalism kasi kami nun. ang dapat na nilalagay mo sa front page eh ung mga bagay na "national concern". sabihin na nating yun ang gusto nung edito pero di ba violation un sa "etiquette" (un ba ang tawag) ahh..principle cguro of journalism un..mdyo highschool pa kasi yun..kung sarili lang nilang interest edi nagviviolate sila sa principle of human interest..parang ganun ata twag dun..um-oo ka an lng tutal baBasahin mo din naman ito..eun..

magmove naman tyo sa television..news pa din..naalala ko nung dati binalita ba naman sa tv patrol na nadulas si imelda papin sa banyo..tapos yun ininterview nila ok naman n pla..ala lng nadulas lang siya..ewan last thing i heard idedemanda nya ung sabon kasi yun ata dahilan kung bakit siya nadula..hehe..biro lng yun..oo nga sinunod nila ung principle of human interest..c'mon sino ba interisado dun!? mana pa sana kung grabe ung nangyari..bka mamya mapanod kong balita naman si april boy nalunod sa bath tub na puno ng papaya soap or si renz verano niluwa na ung palaka na nalulon niya nug bata pa siya kaya ganun ung boses nya..mas maganda ata kung ibalita nila "for human interest" kung ilang decibels ang boses ni ted failon or ilang volume ng oxygen ang nahihigop ni mike enriquez tuwing magsasalita siya...hays ang init..

***

nakakain na ulit ako ng balut nung isang araw tska nung penoy matagal ko ng hinahanap yun..siopao naman ang gusto ko ngayon..ung asado tsaka bola-bola ayoko nung sa chowking gusto kung genuine na siopao hindi ung pusa ang laman ah..

***

we. i am in gaseous state. we. i could never be on solid state. no matter how i try. no matter how much i want it to be. i will occupy some space in you. and i'll be everywhere. anywhere you want me to be. we. i am in gaseous state. hovering and going to wherever you will take me. i.we are in a gaseous state. that is how you see. us. i.

pinoytayo

2006-04-05T12:53:00.000+08:00

Napakapredictable ng pinoy. Example sa handaan ung children's party ha. First scenario, magmamano ka sa mga taong di mo kilala basta sinabi lng ng magulang mo na magmano..may pagkakataon pa na di mo kilala ung celebrant basta family friend or kapitbahay niyo daw dati.

Second, sa pagkain laging may liston na may kagat na epol. at kung alang epol orange or anuman bilog na kasya sa bibig nung beboy. bat nga ba may ganun?! kung bata ka man eh imbes na ganahan kang kumain eh matatakot ka pa! at sympre di mawawala ang spaghetti kpg children's party kasama pa jan ung pine-epol na may nakatusok na hot with matching marshmellow..kung fiesta naman ihanda mo ang tiyan mo sa O-DIET
bakit O-DIET? kasi anjan c menudO, adobO, mechadO, atbp. kya kapag inalok saya alang kng mggwa kundi um-OO. (korni nun ah)

Madami pa dapat akong susulat pero medyo tinatamad na akong magisip eh..mainit pa naman baka dumugo na utak ko..kung meron man..

***

Looked at my hand
put my middle finger and the other down
held it down with my thumb

what was left
was my forefinger and pinky
separated together

showed a symbol
those they used on t.v
sue for time

It seemingly looked like us
you, the forefinger
I, the pinky

the same
yet so different
too big for the other.

milyonaryo

2006-04-03T10:47:00.000+08:00

Napanood ko dati sa balita na ang gastos daw sa pagkakaroon daw ng anak ay 2 milyon para sa lalaki at 2.5 milyon para sa babae (hanggang mapagraduate mo daw yun ng college). Estimated lang nama pero napaisip ako pano ko kakayanin kumita ng ganun at magpalakio ng bata.

At napaisip din ako na ganun na lang ba ang presyo ng buhay ko. 2 milyon, eh kung susumahin mo ung halga ng mga endorsements at mga shows ko higit pa dun ang kita nun. Tsk tsk. buhay..mangarap n gising..hehe..

Dagdag ko pang naisip eh bat mas mahal ang babe ng 500k?! at sa huli naisip ko na tama lng pala kasi..Una, gastos sa underwear.mantakin mo pares yun..Pangalawa, gastos sa sanitary chuva (ilang beses pang gumamit ang babae nun)..Pangatlo, mabilis silang magpalit ng damit. di ko lang alam bakit either mabilis lumaki or pihikan..Pangapat, mas maraming accesories ang mga babae. i.e. purse, singsing, kwintas, polseras,etc.

Pano na kaya pag nagkaanak ako!? mantaking mo sa panahon na yun ano na presyo ng langis! baka wala ngang langis eh! tubig o coconut oil nagamit sa makina.hehe..

*****

Dance with me

Dance with me
I'll take five steps to my right
You'll take five steps to your left

After five counts
I'll take five steps to my left
You'll take five steps to your right

Hands held together
1, 2, 3 steps forward
1, 2, 3 steps to eternity.

time will tell

2006-04-01T09:30:00.000+08:00

i just fell. i once told a friend how things seemed to be short but sweet. i guess she agreed with me and i was right. i am. those moments was simply an hour for you. a couple maybe. but it was all worth it for me. if you only knew how every pore in my body. how every hair and inch of my skin was smiling. you said our hues were boring. we are boring. it was all coincidental but i thought it was sweet. it may actually be His doing. you smiled and i was about to vomit. but i closed my mouth and tried my best not to vomit. i think i swallowed them. it is quiet silly if you would see all those butterflies coming out of my mouth. short but sweet.

i was told that i was brave. i think it was my sister who said that. she admire my "bravery". if she only knew the amount of courage i had summoned to do that. if i were a British soldier during the renaissance period they would have probably given me a white feather for my bravery. or the lack of it. white is good. it symbolizes cleanliness and purity. what you are. what makes me coward. not brave.

fear. has left me paralyzed. but you have become an ear. removing the f. i think i have left you with no choice. whether you like it or not. i hope it's fine with you. you have inspired and motivated me. with words and simply being an ear. you have helped me move from this state of numbness. how long this will last? only time can tell.

i still live in fear. and this is a proof.

between you and me. a space. you need some. i may need some. space is good. it gives room for growth. i dont want to jeopardize. or ruin. things. plans. that you have laid-out. i know. i dont fit-in to such plans. that's why space is inevitable. space between. does not mean. will never mean. that i will forget you. never. for such space. is a necessity for our growth. for i can never be a part of you. for now. maybe tomorrow i could be. time will tell.

you seemed to be too much for me. i am not worthy. i once told a friend. i guess i was right again. partly. i probably need some more time. time to grow. to be better. for in time i can be a better man. much better. for you. so that you can be proud of me. only time can tell. so many things. thought. words. that i would love to share with you. but time is short. but sweet. and in the end. only. time will tell. can tell.

banats

2006-03-28T14:08:00.000+08:00

Ito lang ung malulupit na banat na 'di ko lang alam kung batukan ka ng nanay mo kapag sinabi mo sa kanya ito.out of fun lang ito ah.hehe..

Ang tigas-tigas ng ulo mo ala ka ng ginawa kundi...
"Nay, skull po yun"

Ala nang pumasok jan sa tenga mo...
"Nay, you were saying?"

Napuyat ka na naman buong gabi kakatelepono!
"Nay, pinapraktis ko lng po ung pagpasok ko sa call center"

Dis oras ng gabi ka na naman umuwi
"Praktis lang kapag nagovertym"

Mararamdaman mo din nararamdaman ko kapag nagkaanak ka na
"Para alam ko na din po sasabihin ko sa nanay ko"

Ala ka ng ginawa kundi mag-txt
"Inggit ka lang ala kang katext"

Papunta ka pa lang pabalik na kami
"Huh? Bakit 'di ko po kayo nakasalubong?"

Madami ka pang kakaining bigas!
"Kaya nga po nag-eextra rice na ko eh"

alipato

2006-03-25T20:27:00.000+08:00

Aking Alipato

Lulan ng alipato
ang mga katinig at patinig
at mga kataga na naglalaman
nang kamalayan at mga katanungan

Walang nakababatid
kung gaano kahaba at katagal
ang liyab at init
na dulot ng alipato

Maaring mapukaw nang hangin at panahon
hangin na naging dahilan
upang mapalapit
at makilala

Panahon na nagbabadya
na walang ng natitira
at nagsasabing
masyado pang maaga

Munting alipato
tulad ng pagkatao
maliwanag o mahapdi
naaayon sa nakakakita

Nawa'y dalhin ng hangin
ang alipato at salita
kung san man ito nararapat
at dapat pang lumagay

Bahala na ang hangin
kung dapat nga bang lumapit
bahala na ang panahon
kung tunay bang natatakda

Ikaw, ako at ang aking alipato.

bb

2006-03-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

Isang araw nagpunta si Pepe sa Maynila para mag-aral. Dala-dala nya ang mga gulay at manok na padala ng magulang, may bitbit din siyang banig para higaan niya at kulambo para sa mga lamok. Tapos unang araw ng klase nahirapan siyang makipagkita sa mga kapwa niya mga galing probinsya and four years later he's sitting infront of the monitor and thinking of something to write for his second family..

Maraming salamat sa walang humpay na kasiyahan! salamat sa walang katapusan tawanan! sa mga nagpakopya salamat. sa mga hindi (natatakot na mataasan) salamat na din.

Salamat sa pagdala ng pagkain! Sa mga nagdala ng magic flakes, junk foods, tubig, iced tea, lemonade, etc pati n din sa mga nagpakagat sa mga sandwich nila salamat!

Salamat sa mga mababait na nagbigay ng papel intermediate man o yellow pad. salamat sa mga reviewers, sa 'di nabigyan pasalamat ka na din kahit papano may dahilan ka kapag mababa nakuha mo.

Salamat sa malakas mong boses at makulit na takong na nagpapagising sa aking tuwing umaga. salamat sa pagsabay sa jeep at walang katapusang kwentuhan at pag-iisip. salamat sa paghahati natin sa iced tea at pagtabi sakin, ang laki ng naging pagbabago nun sa buhay ko. salamat sa pangangamusta at thoughtfulness kahit mdyo matapang ng dating.

Salamat sa pagpapatawa kahit di mo sinasadya, ang saya kapag ikaw ang nagrereport. salamat sa pagiging active mo kahit papano may representative ang block. salamat sa konting taray at pakikisama kapag tayo ay nagkikita. salamat sa katarayan at pagpaparamdam mo na mdyo pasan mo ang mundo dahil nalaman ko na mababaw pa ang problema ko.

Salamat sa pagikot ng iyong kamay dahil napatawa mo ko dun pero pataba ka naman ng konti wag mo kong gayahin. salamat sa pagtanggap mo sakin at pakikining sa mga problema, 'di kita kailanman makakalimutan. salamat sa mga intelligent jokes at mind games at sa pagsawsaw dahil kahit ppano may pinagtritripan kaming lahat.

Salamat sa pagiging kapitbahay ko sa loob ng 2 taon, pagsabay sa tanghalian at dahil din sayo napadali ang buhay kolehiyo. Salamat sa pagturo ng mga bagay-bagay at sa mga sarcasm dahil dun napatawa mo ako.
Salamat sa paglakad ng mabilis dahil natutunan ko na TIME IS REALLY GOLD. salamat sa pagiging kalog at kahit sa maikling panahon na nakasama ka napasaya mo ako at masaya akong naging kaibigan kita.

Salamat sa walang humpay na pagtext sa umaga dahil nagigising ako dun pero favor kapag weekends medyo gawin mong late kahit 1 oras man lang. salamat sa mga disgrasya dahil dun natawa ako at nasasabi kong hindi lang ako ang malas sa araw na ito. salamat sa pag-ngiti kahit mukang sabog ka sa araw na yun kahit ppano pinansin mo ko. salamat sa sincerity at pagiging totoo mo. salamat sa pangungulit dahil natutunan kong ang virtue ng patience.

Salamat sa pag-intindi at pagtitiis sa pangungulit namin. salamat sa pagiging prangka at totoo, ang tapang mo! Salamat sa pagtitimpi sa tuwing tinutukso ka namin sa kanya. salamat sa pagiging gwapo at naramdaman ko na di ako nag-iisa pati na rin sa pagsakay sa mga trip ko. salamat sa pagpapaalala sakin na maswerte ako na malapit lang ang inuuwian ko.

Salamat sa pagiging mabait at nainspire mo akong maging mabuting tao. salamat sa makulit mong halakhak at pakikisama sa kalokohan man o katinuan. salamat sa pagiging ikaw dahil natutunan ko na mas maging malapit pa sa Diyos. salamat sa pamamamngka mo kapag spanish dahil dun hindi nagiging boring ang lahat at mas umiikli ang oras.

Salamat sa pagtabi sakin at pagtitiis kahit alam ko namang HD ka sakin, tulad ng nauna salamat dahil mas lumakas ang pananampalataya ko at alam ko naging mas mabuti akong tao sa tulong mo. salamat esdi sa pagiging gwapo hayaan mo ganyan talaga ang buhay konting tiis pa. salamat sa pag-intindi sakin kahit na di ka tumatawa sa jokes ko kasi akala mo nagsasalita lang akong mag-isa.

Salamat sa pagiging pangulo namin dahil sayo maayos ang lahat, nakakatakot na nakakatuwa ka. salamat sa pagiging bibo kahit papano hindi lang boses ng titser ang naririnig ko. salamat sa katahimikan at pakikinig sa akin sana wag ka din magsawa an lumapit sakin. salamat sa mga hw's na pinakopya mo sakin laking tulong nun.

Salamat sa pagiging spongha dahil sayo nalaman ko ang halaga ng pagiging "good listener". salamat sa pagiging sabog dahil napapatawa mo ko kahit na nawweirduhan na tayo sa isa't isa. Salamat sa mga 'iregs' na nakatabi ko kasi..ala lng..

apat na taon. minsan natanong ako "di ka ba jan nagsasawa, lagi na lang kayong umaalis?" di ko lang masabi at di lang nila maintindihan na paano at gaano kasaya ng buhay. masaya kapag kasama ko sila. alam ko na kahit papaano parte ako ng buhay nila at napapasaya ko sila at napapasaya din nila ko. hindi ko lang alam paano sasabihin sa kanila na sa harap niyo ramdam ko na isa akong tao. di lang nila alam kung paano nagbago ang buhay ko nang nakilala ko kayo. mas buhay. mas makulay. puno ng saya. puno ng tawa. lahat nagiging mahalaga.

parting is such a sweet sorrow. i would just share this song with you guys..sbrang ganda.db leah?

minsan sa may kalayaan tayoy nagkatagpuan.may mga sariling gimik at kaya-kanyang hangad sa buhay.sa ilalim ng iisang bubong.mga sekretong ibinubulong.kahit na anong mangyari.kahit na saan ka man patungo.

ngunit ngayon kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon.sanay huwag kalimutan ang ating mga pinagsamahan.at kung sakaling gipitin ay laging iisipin.na minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan.minsan ay parang wala nang bukas sa buhay natin.inuman sa magdamag na para bang tayoy mauubusan.sa ilalim ng bilog na buwan.mga tiyan natiy walang laman.ngunit kahit na walang pera.ang bawat gabiy anong saya.

minsan ay hindi ko na alam ang nangyayari.kahit na anong gawin.lahat ng bagay ay merong hangganan.dahil ngayon tayo ay nilimot ng kahapon.di na mapipilitang buhayin ang ating pinagsamahan.ngunit kung sakaling mapadaan baka.ikaw ay aking tawagan
dahil minsan tayo ay naging tunay na magkaibigan

siopao

2006-03-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

Ano ba 'tong nararamdaman ng tiyan ko.kala ko ayaw ko na ng siopao at balut..pero gusto ko pala.naglilihi ata ako.hehe. kaahit ano. maski bola-bola o penoy man. solve na ko. dati ayoko nun pero ngayon ok lang.

***

A thousand times i wanted to take her hand, and i thousand times i stopped myself. I was still confused - I wanted to tell her i loved her, but i didn't know how to begin. [I Sat Down By The River Piedra and Wept] it could all be a mistake, i could be a mistake.

one

2006-03-13T07:52:00.000+08:00

I looked infront of a mirror and saw grey hair (a lot) streaking just above my "sideburns"..and i seemingly looked different from what i used to be..Two days seemed like a week and tomorrow would be the third day and it would really feel like eternity..oh yes, loneliness mixed with boredom is slowly taking on my sanity..i went into seclusion and went to my solitary place,sat on a chair and started scribbling as hard as i could..emotions into words.

Too early and too late
for someone like me
this should have and might have been
the beginning and end of something.

the one?
who'll bring me to my kness
and make me tall

the one?
who'll bring me to tears
and make me smile

Lord, you are my Saving Grace
You know my needs
and necessity

could this be the one
that i have prayed for
is this the one that You have sent forth

To be my saving grace
at my mortal state
she seemed to be

before i left, i uttered:
"am i willing to take a chance,
moreso is someone willing to take chance
on someone like me".

*sorry madrama bigla kasing umulan.hehe.

utot

2006-03-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

excuse me and sorry. pasensya na kung umutot ako. nabigla din tlga ko di ko napigilan eh. sori kung umutot ako sa tabi mo. di ko tlga sinasadya yun. masayado lng akong naging kampante eh. pero aaminin ko nagulat ako sa reaksyon mo. kala ko tatawa ka lng o di mo papansinin. di ko inakala na ganun ang gagawin mo. sori ah. isa ka kasi sa mga tao na naisip kong tatangapin ang pa-utot ko. kala ko ganun ka eh. mali pla. baka naman masyado lng mabaho ang utot ko. hayaan mo di na mauulit. mahirap man pigilan ang pagutot ko. iffilter ko n lng. at sa unang pagkakataon tumama ako. tama ako na pinatagal ko pa. dahil ngayon alam ko na. nalungkot lang ako.

****

last night
i made my pillow wet.
and it was really weird why i did it.
could be my way of easing the pain.
or simply realizing what was in front of me.
disappointment all over again

a lil

2006-03-04T16:16:00.000+08:00

The Greatest Mystery in the World. two weeks after kong mgpaduplicate nakit ko n ang favorite ko keychain and keys..but the unthinkable happened..nawawala c 'teddy'..waaaahhhh!!

***

and i pray to be the man worthy of you..

marbles,etc

2006-02-26T18:27:00.000+08:00

i reached for my pocket.got a hold of my marbles. looked at it and i was amazed at how dusted it was. took my shirt and rub it against my marble. my marble was good as new. and so it seems...

ricochet

2006-02-22T19:58:00.000+08:00

The Greates Mystery in the World..san kya napunta ang susi ko at fave kong key chain andun p nmn ung extra key ng mail box nmin..

i pinch my arms
slapped my face
my mind was flying

i pinch my cheeks
slapped my hands
my thoughts ricochet

confusion sets in
can't imagine how, where and when to move.

blue sky

2006-02-19T16:28:00.000+08:00

To a friend who went through something..a little late..and for everyone na nga din..hehe..

Blue Sky - Hale

When do stars fade their light?
Does the moon and the sun make it right
For you the world maybe
Like an endless storm chasing a mystery

Is there hate in your heart?
Does your body drop and tell you to stop
Loving you or loving me
When it all falls down you just sing with me

Coz there’s a blue sky waiting tomorrow
Waiting tomorrow shining and shimmering
A blue sky waiting tomorrow
Waiting tomorrow
Maybe it’s all we need

Oh don’t you wash away that smile
You just look out the window and see the light
It’s beautiful to be alive
It’s wonderful to live a life

The sun is sure to shine
For you and me for everyone
So don’t be sad it’s just the start
Of a new beginning in your life

Rain will keep on pouring
Some things you can’t control
And while the sun seems far and hard to hold
It will unfold

There will always be a blue sky
A blue sky waiting tomorrow

pupu

2006-02-18T15:23:00.000+08:00

nakakainis, nakakatawa, nakakapagtaka....

para sa kanya isa ka lamang pupu..tingin nya syo ay isang pupu..tapos siya naman itong langaw na balik ng balik sa pupu na katulad mo..'di ko lang alm ano mental capacity ng isang langaw o kung meron man..one thins is for sure..ala itong pakiramdam..ala itong alam gawin kundi manginain sa mga pupu..dahil sadyang ganun lang ang kaya niya..mga pupu at walang ng iba..mahirap ipagtanto na hanggang pupu lang siya at ganung kababa ang tingin niya sa iyo..isang pupu..panahon na para tumigas ka..panahon na para matuyo ka at wag ng maglabas ng masamang amoy..ito ng ang oras mo..panahon mo para ipakita sa kanya na hindi ka isang pupu na tinatapakan..pinandidirihan..at dinadalaw sa tuwing ala ng makain ng basura..ito n ang oras mo para pakita sa kanya na hindi ka isang pupu..

*****

'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose her
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

valentine's

2006-02-14T10:33:00.000+08:00

it's strange how the little things can make you feel ignored.
it's so odd that the simple things can make you feel dumb.
it makes me wonder how the things that are often overlooked can be disappointing.

oh well, no time for this especially today.
must go back to my box.
and now your starting to sound sentimental.
you should not.never.not today.

bent down

2006-02-11T15:49:00.000+08:00

Bent Down - Hale

My conscience is hurting my ear
But im happy as long as you are here
I hide if I can
I don't care where I stand
As long as you are bent down

Im speaking the same words again
But I will if you have to fall
Im here if you want me at all
Just as long as you are bent down

She feels im laid out for everything here
She keeps me away from this song of mine

I don't know why this wont stop
Cause maybe it just wont stop
But at least we're the one bent down

****

delusion.illusion.kept me awake.
loneliness.happiness.kept me alive.
imagination.confusion.kept me away.
and now i must turn my back.
two steps away.
smile.
pain.

quo vadis II

2006-02-06T15:30:00.000+08:00

Quo Vadis?

During the time when Christians were being persecuted in Rome, St.Peter became the head of the Church after the death of Jesus Christ..There was one incident that changed the Church..St.Peter was in middle-ground or on a crossroad more appropriately and he was to choose between Rome or the other way..In Rome, he is sure to die due to his faith..Either he'll be fed to the lions, crucified, etc..

He had a apparition or vision of Christ..Jesus ask him Quo Vadis? (latin of 'Where are you going?)..Jesus didn't force him to go back to Rome but let him decide by himself..Moreso, Peter had a vision of him being crucified..

After the apparition, Peter decided to go back to Rome and propess his faith..The romans decided to have him crucified on a cross just like the way Jesus died..But Peter said something like, "If I am to be crucified let me be crucified the other way around". And so he was crucified upside down with his head on the ground..

So ask yourself: "Quo Vadis?"

quo vadis

2006-02-04T15:35:00.000+08:00

Being in middle-ground has always been a hard thing for me..I'll probably wait until you make the person talk to me..
***

I can only think of two words:

"Quo Vadis"

wenk!

2006-02-01T17:00:00.000+08:00

my head is full but i'm smiling. i can't move but i'm laughing. my stomach hurts but i'm happy. i can't...

funny

2006-01-28T23:55:00.000+08:00

it's funny how i get to be reminded of having feelings of regret..I sometimes do regret things that i didn't do and things that i did..It's
seems odd that when i do things, after sometime i realize i wished that i didn't do it and there are moments when i hoped that i could have done somethind but i end up asling "what if"***

it's funny how we sometimes measure beauty..when i see a couple having their time on let's say on a jeep and they seem so happy with each other..i always ask myself how did they fell for each other? was it mere looks? i think it definitely wrong!!!

i've always believe that beauty is something acquired not something your born with..and beauty is a matter of how you see a person..people have different tastes and they judge beauty very differently..you love a person so much and after a long time you seem to see the beauty of the person..true beauty is seen not by the eyes but by the heart..and true love is seen not by the eyes but felt by the heart..for someone to say that i am ugly is his own perspective and for me to say that you are ugly is my own perspective of beauty as well..

i try to see the beauty in each and everyone around me and through it i feel a whole lot better about myself and also feel beautiful..no one is born ugly..it's how you see things that make things ugly..and yourself ugly as well..

i would like to elaborate more on this but i think people are sick of reading cheesy long posts..hehe..

***

it's funny how i see you up-close and half of me suddenly feels weird..something that i haven't felt for a long time..i wouldn't even want to talk or listen to you..i just want to stare..and it's even more funny that the other half of me stay still..and rationalize..and does things like what i'm writing right now and what you are reading as of this moment moreso in the ending of this paragraph and/or the last statement..ignore..

shang

2006-01-23T14:33:00.000+08:00

nice place. great food. warm couch. cold floor. wet all-over. five people. i love to death. no worries. time well spent. worth repeating. if i fail. i dont care. it was too great. and to memorable. might never happen again.

BaskinRoobins

2006-01-20T17:38:00.000+08:00

BaskinRobbins.i opened him.and had a little piece.he was a little bitter.a little sweet.a little bit of both, actually.he was in my tongue.then swirled him around my mouth.i loved the taste.started playing with him.and as time passed by.he became smaller. so small than i almost can't tase him.quite thin that it fits between my teeth. still i liked the taste. i simply adore this little thing. i looked ahead to an empty street. it was gone. i reached for my pocket. and got another one. this one's for you.

new beginning

2006-01-18T17:46:00.001+08:00

*i came across this song by o&l w/c i haven't heard yet..but i really like the lyrics..

Your gentle means
And all seems to commence
A brand new pace in me
Hope it’s not a blunder
Especially when I uncover
Dig deeper
And I wonder

When I get near you
I feel something deep within me
You know you bring me to new heights

The more I’m with you
The more it feels like
This could be the beginning of something wonderful

bq

2006-01-14T18:21:00.000+08:00

May dalawang magkaibigan..si bq at ang panadero..marami silang pagkakapareho at pagkakaiba pero kahit ppano naging magkaibigan sila..

Mabait si bq
Gwapo naman si panadero
Patawa si panadero
Matalino naman si bq
Pero ubod ng cute si panadero

Masipag si bq
Pogi naman si panadero
Matipuno ang katawan ni panadero
Magaling umintindi si bq (kala mo seksi ah!)
Pero hari ng kakyutan si panadero

Maganda sana si bq
Mas magandang lalaki nga lang si panadero
Mapagkumbaba si panadero
Busilak ang loob ni bq (nakalulon ng christmas lights)
Pero gabundok ang kakyutan ni panadero

Sige na nga
Maganda si bq
At di sinungaling si panadero

quiet ka lng hayaan silang mag-isip..hehe..

lalalalala..lalalalala..lalalalalalala..sing..sing a song..

3 by 8

2006-01-11T17:16:00.000+08:00

can you be the one who'll stay with me on my 3 by 8 inch of space?

tigyawat

2006-01-06T21:26:00.000+08:00

Maraming pighati na ang dinulot ng nilalang na ito..kinatatakutan..kinaiinisan..at sinusumpa..ang tawag dito sa ingles pimple sa tagalog tigyawat..

ano ba ang iba't ibang tigyawat?

sa wetpu (kunwari ka pa pigsa yan eh..upo ka nga! upo!)
sa likod (weh! hihirit pa! bungang araw yan eh!..higa ka nga! higa!)
sa batok (may kilala kong may ganito..sarap tirisin! mangulit ka nga! mangulit!)
sa mata (kunwari ka pa! guliti yan eh! tama na paninilip! beautiful eyes nga!)
sa lips (sabi wag araw-arawin eh! kiss ka nga! kiss!)
sa cheeks (di ka na naman naghilamos! beso beso nga! beso! sa pader!)
sa noo (ayan kakaisip sa sintido tumubo! bow ka nga! bow!)
sa tenga (panay ang tsismis! makinig ka nga! makinig!)
sa ilong - external (wag kalimutan pag-naghihilamos kasi! ako ito! ako ito!)
sa ilong - internal (wah!! sakit nito..konting galaw at pag-hinga sobrang dusa..mangulangot ka nga! kulangot!)

*for a friend hope i filled up the box

oasis

2006-01-05T11:23:00.000+08:00

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

bother

2006-01-03T20:30:00.000+08:00

I'll close my eyes
and cover my ears
shut my mouth and stay still

I won't move
or lift a finger
neither move
a singe hair strand

Overwhelming joy
has filled me up
and am to happy
to be bothered
or to even bother

death

2005-12-30T09:43:00.000+08:00

'di ako maka-tag!!! waaH! panay cookies chuva..hehe..

***

reminds me of a friend but what if the person you love suffers from bipersonality disorder? what if the person you love is confused or
seems not to know him/herself? i think time to give some space..

"I am going to sit here with you by the river. If you go home to sleep, I will sleep in front of your house and if you go away, I will follow you - until you tell me to go away. Then i'll leave. But I have to love you for the rest of my life"
- Paolo Coehlo, By the River Piedra I sat Down and Wept

***

The other night I rested my head on my pillow..and it wasy very late..everything seemed so light..i converse with him..i told him..i feel so happy..so happy that i could already die..I AM READY TO DIE..if i don't wake up after this it's fine with me..i don't want to forget this feeling of joy..if i wake up again..thank you..i guess i still have things to do..i just pray that i'll feel this way again..i closed my eyes and my muscle twitch..I WAS SMILING..

shrek

2005-12-28T06:57:00.000+08:00

I love the color green..adore if i should say..but it may sound strange
but it makes me all green..as green as the ogre from the swamp..yes,
with it i feel big but small inside..i feel small and all but a little
happy..small but contented..such phrase has been overused..has been
redundant..and i have come to realize that it is wrong..with it i

should
never feel
small
should
never be
contented

with it i should strive to be the best..should feel big about myself..
but with it i feel dull..useless..and shallow..as if i'm the most boring person..it is too nice for someone like me..but i have said..it makes me all green..as green as the ogre from the swamp..ugly not only outside but also inside..well, at least the ogre was pretty from the inside..but with it i feel ugly but happy..

with it i feel undeserving..unworthy..like the cake from the fridge..
i can only look but can never have..it is the brownies from the pan..
so fragile and sensitive..and should be extra careful when you remove it from the pan..it might stick and spoil all the baking and waiting..

you'll be the cake and i'll be the box
coz what's inside me is you
coz what's underneath this green creature
is someone who is pretty
and it's all because of you.

reminder: refrigerate after opening and be extra careful when you open the box..people tend to get disappointed with what's inside..many have
entered the swamp but they got scared and run off..try to peek but
have no expectations..best before:06/20/85

thanks

2005-12-25T23:48:00.000+08:00

lost in a place
a place i used to know
and used to love
somewhere known by heart

confused to the point that
i didn't know where i was
who i am
who i am with

i lost a big part of mine
a four letter word
that i took for granted
and it was my soul, it was who i am

i woke up feeling weak
stood up like i was sitting
heard words but never listened
and never did talk, only listened

i touched but never felt
and never did i feel that i could move again
never did i imagined that i could listen
never did i thought that i could talk

mind is empty
thoughts are clear
my soul is smiling
the kind i never thought i'll feel again

could be just a phase
that i wish will never end
that i hope will last forever
that i pray will stay with me until YOU say "no"

it gave me direction
and cured me from all confusion
helped me find my soul
and closed all wounds

thank you Lord
for my thoughts, senses and soul
and for the pretty stewards
for letting me meet your lovely creations

how i wish it'd be a part of me
for it makes
a
wonderful
me

**got tired of chopping cashew nuts,packing cakes, brownies and delivering them..so i did this and i noticed napaka incoherent ko
plang gumawa ng poem prang ala cyang flow...hehe..Merry Christmas!!!

bk

2005-12-23T06:29:00.000+08:00

Happybirthday!HappyNewyear!HappythreekingS!Happyvalentine'sday!
Happyaprilfool'sday!Happyeaster!Happylaborday!Happyallsaint'sday!
Happyhaloween!Happyallsoul'sday!MerryChristmas!Happybirthday!

****

Sarap sana ng tulog ko kaso bgla akong naalimpungatan..kala ko binangugot ako
may malaking mukha akong nakita sa paanan ko naputi..Nang madilat ng maayos
c colonel pla sa kfc ung nasa paa ko..pikit, tulog ulit..nadilat ulit..nanlaki ang mata..kala ko malaking unggoy na nakatingin sakin..'di pla..c kingkong lng pla..nagppromote ng promo nya sa bk..pikit ulit..nagising ulit..nagulat ako kla ko umaga na..tingin sa celfone 2 am plang..ung crescent logo pla ng BK yun (naisip ko ulit muslim kya may ari ng bk?) ..kla ko araw na..pikit ulit..nagugutom na ata ako sa panaginip ko kasi may malaking burger..nagkaroon ako ng ulirat..d pla panaginip yun..tarpouline pla ng BK yun..whopper meal..overlooking kasi sa window BK..sabay sa paanan ko pa..hehe..

hays..sarap mag-BK..sarap uminom up to sawa..sarap mong kasama..sarap mong kausap..
sarap mong katawana..tara..punta tyo sa BK..eight o' clock..up to sawa..

2 hour drive

2005-12-13T13:53:00.000+08:00

Mahigit 2 oras din akong nag-maneho nung una masaya pero pagnagtagal pla..nakakapagod..nakakabato..Matapos and ilang minuto paubos na ang gasolina (patay na naman ako nito)..sabay parada sa tabi..tingin sa labas..binuksan ang pinto sabay labas ng kotse..

ok pala sa labas ng kotse..masaya..naghanap ako ng masasakyan papuntang Cubao..matapos ang ilang sandali nakasakay din ako..sandali lang ung biyahe..pero..sobrang saya..ang ganda ng pakiramdam..

sa uulitin..mag-iintay ako..sana pareho tayo..sa susunod na biyahe..sa pangalawang biyahe..mas masaya..mas mahaba..at sana..ikaw ang kasama..

flowersd

2005-12-07T14:57:00.000+08:00

let's buy some flowers
a rose maybe
it could be red, white or even yellow
but it's too common, too normal

how about a tulip
it could be from Holland
but it's not into it
and so overrated

then sunflower maybe
it's yellow and bright
it could make it smile huh!?
it's not a fan of Gone with the wind

a daffodil would be nice
or it's too simple and typical
especially for it
and it's not so it

oh yes! i know a gardenia!
would be perfect
so perfect like it
and so pretty for it

gardenia it is
so naive yet so nice
and just what it is
in silence it speaks

josh

2005-12-03T15:45:00.000+08:00

How do you guard a girl's heart while attempting to tell her how special she is? Could you give her a rose to thank her for her friendship? -Josh H.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at naroon siya.....

sponge

2005-11-26T12:03:00.000+08:00

Tgnan mo nga nmn spongebob dw ako..hehe..

1) Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
(a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
(b) Fun/Theme park (2 pts.)
(c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)
(d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
(e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2) What is your favorite type of music?
(a) Rock 'n Roll (2 pts.)
(b) Alternative (1 pt.)
(c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
(d) Country (5 pts.)
(e) Pop (3 pts.)

3) What type of movies do you prefer?
(a) Comedy (2 pts.)
(b) Horror (1 pt.)
(c) Musical (3 pts.)
(d) Romance (4 pts.)
(e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4) Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only couldchoose one of these?
(a) Waiter (4 pts.)
(b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
(c) Teacher (3 pts.)
(d) Police (2 pts.)
(e) Cashier (1 pt.)

5) What do you do with your spare time?
(a) Exercise (5 pts.)
(b) Read (4 pts.)
(c) Watch television (2 pt! s.)
(d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
(e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6) Which one of the following colors do you like best?
(a) Yellow (1 pt.)
(b) White (5 pts.)
(c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
(d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
(e) Red (4 pts.)

7) What do you prefer to eat right now?
(a) Snow (3 pts.)
(b) Pizza (2 pts)
(c) Sushi (1 pt.)
(d) Pasta (4 pts.)
(e) Salad (5 pts.)

8) What is your favorite holiday?
(a) Halloween (1 pt.)
(b) Christmas (3 pts.)
(c) New Year (2 pts.)(d) Valentine's Day (4 pts)
(e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9) If you could go to one of these places, which one would it be?
(a) Paris(4 pts.)
(b) Spain(5 pts.)
(c) Las Vegas(1 pt.)
(d) Hawaii(4 pts.)
(e) Hollywood(3 pts.)

10) With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
(a) Someone smart (5 pts.)
(b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
(c) Someone who likes to party (1 pt.)
(d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
(e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for! Don't forget to put your character in the subject line and forward to yourfriends and back to the person that sent this to you. Very interesting tosee "who" your friends are!

(10-16 points) You are Garfield: You are very comfortable, easygoing, and you definitely know how to have fun, but sometimes you take it to anextreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in controlof your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember your happyspirit may hurt you or others.

(18-22 points) You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and popular.You always know what's in and you never are out of style. You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for afew days more than once, but you always come home with the family valuesthat you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.

(22-28 points) You are Arnold: You have lots of friends and you are alsopopular, always willing to give advice and help out a p! erson in need.You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: Try not to be too much of a dreamer. If not, you will havemany conflicts with life.

(29-34 points) You are Sponge Bob SquarePants: You are the classic personthat everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they wouldnever not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calmfor the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, then you will be stress free.

(35-42 points) You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in lovequickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are afamily person. You call your Mom every day. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse youwith reality.

(43-50 points) You are Dexter: You are smart and definitely a thinker.Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. You maintain a stable routinebut never ignore a bad situation when it comes.

huwag

2005-11-24T13:18:00.000+08:00

La lng..dedicated 2 s isang frend..naaalala ko ung album n cutterpillow tps di ko maintndhan ko bakit my hayop na ganun s tabi nung lyrics ng song n 2..at dahil s frend ko n yun nlaman ko kung bakit..

Huwag Mo N by Eheads

Hika and inabot ko
Nang piliting sumabay sa ‘yo hanggang kanto
Nang isipan mong parang sweepstakes
Ang hirap manalo

Ngayon, pagdating ko sa bahay
Ibaba ang ‘yong kilay, ayoko ng ingay

Huwag mo nang itanong sa akin
‘Di ko rin naman sasabihin
Huwag mo nang itanong sa akin
At ‘di ko na iisipin

Field trip sa may pagawaan ng lapis
Ay katulad ng buhay natin
Isang mahabang pila
Mabagal at walang katuturan

Ewan ko, hindi ko alam
Puwede bang ‘wag na lang nating pag-usapan

patiently

2005-11-12T16:42:00.000+08:00

Everything is set, Everything is done
A matter of time, a matter of patience
The whole process is painful but is simply a state of mindI
n the end all of these would be worthwhile

All has it's place and all has it's bearing
It'll be awhile but it'll be worth it
And when the time comes
We'll be the first to celebrate

We'll spend our lives talking
We'll reminisce how we patiently waited
To talk about the stupid things
And laugh about the silly ones

Remember the times we dreamt of each other
Seeing a face without a name
And how we woke up smiling
And how we wish to sleep again

Reminisce about the times we felt alone
And thought of each other
How we wish that we'll soon meet
And throw away all these guessing

We'll recall about the wishes i had for you
And the times you thought of me
The moments i prayed you'd arrive
And the instances you felt me whisper

We'll soon meet and spend eternity
I hope you'd still be there for me
As I am for you

And i hope you will be patient
And wait for me
Coz i'm doing the same

A glance, a touch, a smile
And all these waiting and dreaming
Will be
For it is to be..

coelho

2005-11-08T14:47:00.000+08:00

Yes, my ind was wandering. I wished i was there with someone who could bring peace to my heart--someone with whom i could spend a little time without being afraid that i would lose her the next day. With that reassurance, the time would pass more slowly. We could be silent for awhile because we'd knowwe had the rest of our lives for conversation. I wouldn't have to worry about serious matters, about difficult decisions and hard words.

An excerpt from one of Paulo Coelho's novel that i recently finished reading..This somehow struck me and i saved the page number and decided to share it with you..

women

2005-11-04T18:00:00.000+08:00

I made this thing up while riding on a bus going home..i would like to warn some of those who might be offended this was made out of pure boredom andjust the heck of making others laugh..(by others i mean guys..hehe..)

Reasons why women shouldn't drive

1) Poor sense of direction
2) They not willing to soil their hands once a troubleshooting occurs in the car
3) They don't know how to park (i'm guilty of these)
4) Our traffic enforcers would play favorites (men would be less apprehended)
5) They would make use of the side and front mirror to check out cute guys behind their car
6) They'll make use of the front mirror to fix their hair
7) When they drive along EDSA and see a billboard of let's say "kamiseta" they would scrutinize the poormodel and her not good enough dress.
8) In relation to no.4..when they see a male model sporting an underwear they might simply stop and stare..
9) They'll stick their hand on the handbreak or "cambio" (you naughty girl!!)

bivol

2005-10-30T17:21:00.000+08:00

I had a very weird dream the other day..I was swimming in a pool with my practicum group(me, jelo, lele, kyang, nina and she)..The location was supposed to be in Bicol as celebration for the table tennis team..f.y.i, our men's and women's team were champions while our juniorsbagged 1st placed (sorry to rub it in guys)..so back to my dream..it was weird bec. i didn't saw
any players from our team and when we went out of the resort we found ourselves in Bulacan..

Whoa!! what a surprise..it's like thousand miles apart then we went to jelo's place to eat lunch..itseemed like a dejavu actually it was weird bec. we went inside a room and we find ourselves in a cinema houseand we were watching deuce bigalow..we we're laughing so hard then after watching we then went to my place and atelunch..again!!! to lunch in one day!! imagine that!! i forgot to mention there was a frog in the pool btw..
so after eating we decided to go back to Manila..it was really weird bec. we were riding a bus going to baliuag (a place inBulacan) when were supposed to ride something going to Cubao or Recto..while on the bus the conductor approached nina..and sheblurted something like "4 pong babae at isang lalake"..Everyone in the bus was laughing so hard, i was laughing so hard then i wokeup..and i found myself sitting on a bus with my sister (i was supposed to meet my thesis group then)..with L.Kravitz on the radio "all of my life where have you been i'm wondering if i'll ever see you again..."

weird dream..i don't know if it's one of those dreams that i had which eventually happens in real life..

awhile

2005-10-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

It'll be awhile til i sing in the shower
It'll be awhile til i dance in the rain
It'll be awhile til i can laugh at myself
It'll be awhile til i make a fool out of myself.
It'll be awhile til i sleep
It'll be awhile til i can open my eyes again
It'll be awhile til i can recall my dream again
It'll be awhile til everything will be dry.
It'll be awhile til i stand infront of a mirror
It'll be awhile til i look at myself again
It'll be awhile til i sweat again
It'll be awhile til i jump again
It'll be awhile til i run again.
It'll be awhile til i feel small again
Small but contented.

It'll be awhile..
But i'll be patient, I can wait..

bad day

2005-10-24T17:14:00.000+08:00

This has been happening to me lateley..and i really like this song plus ang nice ng video so i decided to post the lyrics of d.powter's song..then, tom is clearance day so to kick things off..

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

converse

2005-10-19T15:48:00.000+08:00

I was upset awhile ago because i just found out that inc. nga kmi s research (balik ako ng mla. tom. to revise)pero after cooling down for 3hrs. or more i got over it na, i actually thought of posting something bout it pra mga kpg project eh sa kapatid ko napunta..wahehe..Pero and stupid nya nmn kc imagine u've been doing the whole thing for 1 sem. then nung 3 weeks left na lng sa sem bglang "ay. may kamuka pla kyo"..and very unprofessional..when you set an appointment u're supposed to respect that.. i feel so ashamed na sa USTe mo ata nakuha ang M.A mo..

***

"Kamusta naman ang girlfriend/boyfriend mo?"
"Mabait naman siya"

I had a discussion w/ some of my friends regarding this..I told my friends that everyone is innately good..That every single person has some kindness in him/her..My friend replied something like: "Ang korni mo nmn"But still, I stand by belief..it's just the way i see a person..Being good is something you see or perceive from an individual..Furthermore, each one of us has his own definition of kindness..It is solely based on how we see a person..
Regarding the above conversation; It's not enough to say that you love a person because he/she is good..Of course the person is goodBECAUSE YOU LOVE THE PERSON..How will you love someone who isn't nice? I know i may sound k.j as my friend added but it's the truth..a person is kind to you because he likes you..but im not simply talking about liking "as in love, etc" but liking as a friend ora colleague..We are nice because it's our nature..A person you met at the jeepney could be "mataray" but still she could actuallybe nice once you get to know her or if you would inquire her friends about it..As one song says "A man could kill but still be the sweetest..."

***

I had a recent conversation with a friend regarding relationships..I would say we were both enlightened or we learned somethingwith is actually idealistic but makes sense..We (i don't know if this should be the right pronoun) realized that it is actually wrong to setstandards..to look for your "ideal mate"..For such person doesn't exist, we see a person as the ideal mate that we've been looking for butif you would look a lot deeper you have actually made this person fit into your standards..
Let's put it this way..An ideal relationship doesn't exist or isn't important..What's important is meeting that one person who is not so perfectand not your ideal mate..But is willing to be with you even if you are not perfect yourself..Someone who is willing to grow and learn with you..Willing to get hurt with/by youAndsomeone who isn't ideal but is willing to build or start an ideal relationship w/ you..
No one is omniscient, omnipresent or omnipotent..in our world to say the least..

ulan

2005-10-16T20:59:00.000+08:00

Nagising ako ng maaga bandang alas-tres ng madaling araw
Mainggay ang aso sa kapitbahay;
Di ko na inalam kung ano ang dahilan
Malakas din ang ulan;

Pagdilat sabay nasilaw sa liwanag ng kidlat
At kasunod nito ang alingawngaw ng kulog;
Ang lakas ng ulan marahil ung ang dahilan ng ingay ng mga aso
Isa sa aking mga haka-haka o di kaya'y may multong nakikita;

Nilamig ako dahil sa lakas ng ulan
Nagkumot sabay yakap sa unan,malamig pa din ang pakiramdam;
Nagmedyas n din ako pra mainitan pero ala pa ding epekto
Makalipas ang ilang minuto nakatulog din ako,pero yun nga putol na ang tulog ko..

Paggising parang ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko
Pawisan ako dahil sa biglang paginit ng panahon;
Naghanap ng bimpo ngunit ala akong nakita
Panyo na lamang ang ginamit ko punas sa noo, leeg, batok;

Alang epekto ang panyo
Mabilis na napuno ng pawis;
Tumayo ako at diretso agad sa banyo
Medyo hilo and pakiramdam;

Butas ang medyas ko
Marahil kaya alang epekto;
Maikli pla ang short ko
Dapat pla nag-panjama na lng ako;

Mamaya babawi ako;
Makatulog ng mas maaga.

fix you

2005-10-12T09:48:00.000+08:00

I'm itching to go home na!!! I just found out na my bago n nmn kming aso...one of these days mg post nga ko bout s kanila..hehe..bsta gus2 ko ng makita kya lng binigyan n nmn ng dad ko ng stupid name ang new pet nmin...Lady B!!! waaa!!! Belgian dw kc breed nya..tps bsta ewan..

Idol ko tlga Coldplay s song writing nla..nakalimutan ko name nung lead singer bsta alm ko asawa ni gwyneth paltrow..wahehe..

Fix You by Coldplay

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below

When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

freshmen

2005-10-07T10:21:00.000+08:00

mdyo long overdue naito pro at least first sem p nmn kya ok lng..pampalamig ulo dn kc ba naman c joyjoy sbi bka ma-incomplete daw group nmin s research..

Hints pra malaman mo n freshmen pa ang isang student:

1) Sila ung mga students na ang polo mga 2-3 inches ang haba sa elbow part (kalalakihan nga daw kc)

2) In relation to no.1 ung mga polo nila ung mga tipong in-almirol sa sobrang tigas sbay pang tide commercial pa sa puti

3) Ito ung mga tao na madaming laman ang bag sa 1st day of classes pa lng

4) Ala silang i.d kundi registration form lang(iba kc s uste eh,bayad muna bago gamit)

5) Sila ung mga nakatambay sa corridor tpos mga 'di naguusap..ala lng gusto lng nilang tumayo..

6) And head count nila 'di baba sa 6

7) In relation sa no.6 kpag nsa fast food chain sila ung sa sobrand dami 'di na ma-accomodate ng resto.

8) Sa dami nila pra silang nag-ffield trip s uste.

9) Palagi nilang dala ung reg. form nila pra mlaman ung room nila (kpag matanda ka n kc di mo dn alam ung room number mo bsta alam mo lng kung sa north, south, east or west siya ng main bldg.

10) Sa gilid sila ng corridor dumadaan

11) ala na kong maisip...........

****

just a thought kahapon hbang nag-reredona...kung mag-pari kaya ako after graduation..

intuition

2005-10-04T15:46:00.000+08:00

Never knew the rules
On how to play the game;

Never knew the way
The way it should be played;

Never knew the intention
All i had was intuition;

Know i know the rules
But never will i like the game
And never will i play.

keane

2005-09-30T13:35:00.000+08:00

KEANE
Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go

So why don't we go
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

childish

2005-09-26T15:30:00.000+08:00

when i was in high school i learned what's the difference between childish and child-like..

Actually, being called child-like is a good thing..it simply means in physical terms that your "baby-faced" or you looked like a kid (in a positive way)..Moreso, it simply means that you have this child-like aura, an impression of being innocent and as we put it in a religion teacher's words you are "as meek as a sheep"

What about childish..if you would look at the dictionary you may see that it's synonymous with immaturity or whatever words which comes close to that..if you would compare it with being child-like it's like this you may look like a sheep but actually you make this annoyin, irritating and eardrum senstive sound..i mean repetetive sounds.. "meeeh, meeeh"..i think all of us are guilty of this..being childish..i am guilty of this..there are moments that i act as if i'm this person suffering from ADHD but i see to it that i don't upset or offend anybody..it's simply a spur of the moment..it's like for a few seconds you feel so happy and you can't hold back that feeling so you simply do stuff that are as some might say...weird..but to hell with them..

i feeling really hungry right now..well, at least i'll have something to eat later..i would like to thank carla for that..but i don't know i'm craving for chicken or maybe some footlong or better have a piece of cheeseburger..but to our topic..being childish is somethign you actually develop from variety of ways: the you were brought up by your parents, the environment that you are in or other psychological principles that we have studied..what about having these 2 differing personalities? like acting childish and being your normal self? sometimes you act childish simply because you want to gain some attention or simply that's the way you conduct yourself..i mean the way a spoiled brat always tries to get what they want and just cries and kneels on the floor out of desperation..i have this theory that people from the province conduct themselves more meekly or more idealistic..because life in the province is "the ideal Filipino neighborhood" but i guess that theory has been proven false after meeting people from GMA..people from GMA are more liberal and as a friend said "spoiled but not a brat"..

the idea confuses me..how about those people in-between?

let's play baseball,i pitched I swing;
strike 1,strike 2
take a long deep breath;
i warn I
just concentrate;

let's try again
don't mess with people, people that i care for;
people i know are my real friends;
try me, let me play;

don't worry i'll be frank,
not hilariously frank as some see it,
but brutally frank and again i warn I,
you won't like what you'll see

I pitch, i swing.
I won't like my game.

joketym

2005-09-21T15:16:00.000+08:00

out of desperation gus2 ko kcng matwa tps nakita ko ito..

Are You Dating A Psych Major?
9) You awake in the middle of the night to a tape repeating, 'This time it's true love... This time it's true love...'
8) You get an electric shock every time you leave the toilet seat up.
7) Everything she says sounds interesting but has no practical value.
6) A trip to any fast food joint always results in ketchup-and-napkin Rorschach tests.
5) After you fall down the stairs, she asks 'How does that make you feel?'
4) Instead of a goodnight kiss, she leaves you with, 'Looks like our time's about up'.
3) Win one lousy game of Nintendo and suddenly you're a manic bipolar schizophrenic with latent passive/aggressive tendencies.
2) During arguments calmly says, 'What I hear is that you can't stand my overly rational, Spock-like approach, and that you feel I should have the stick extracted from my ass. Is that correct?'
and the Number 1 Sign You're Dating a Psychology Major...
1) You're rewarded with a peanut every time you correctly hit the G spot.

Top 10 Things that Suck More than Writing a Psych Thesis
10. Getting hit by a truck
9. Being stranded in the Sahara without water
8. Falling in a pool of alligators
7. Discovering that your house was built on top of a graveyard
6. Hearing voices in your head
5. Being eaten by turtles
4. Getting a package from the Unabomber
3. Studying thermodyamic engineering
2. Writing a dissertation

And the number one thing that sucks more than writing a thesis:
1. Not graduating

sablay

2005-09-21T09:37:00.000+08:00

naunahan ako ni ghala na ipost yung song ni j.blunt so e2 n lng ipost kong song..umm, cnamahan ko tatay ko n gawin ung isa s mga hobby nya tinry ko dn but to no avail..as we were driving bglang e2 ung ngaplay sa radio..sbi skin "e2 pla kanta mo eh" (pabiro nmn un)..naalala ko lng bgla dahl s nangyari kahapon..

Hari Ng Sablay
by Sugarfree
album: Dramachine (2004)

Please lang wag kang magulat
Kung bigla akong magkalat
Mula pa no'ng pagkabata mistulan ng tanga
San san nadadapa san san bumabangga
Ang puso kong kawawa may pag-asa pa ba?
Ooh..Ayoko nang mag-sorry, Ooh.. sawa na 'kong magsisi
Pasensya ka na, mabilis lang akong mataranta

Refrain:

Ako ang hari ng sablay, ako ang hari ng sablay
Hinding-hindi makasabay, sabay sa hangin ng aking buhay
Hari ng sablay, Ako ang hari ng sablay
Ako ang hari, ako ang hari

'Isang tama, sampung mali ganyan ako pumili
'Di na mababawi ng puso kong sawi
Daig pa'ng telenobela kung ako ay magdrama
Ganyan ba talaga guhit ng aking tadhana
Ooh, sawa na 'kong mag-sorry
Ooh,ayoko nang magsisi
Pasensya ka na, mabilis lang akong mataranta

(Refrain)

Ooh...Ooh..
Wo,Wohowooh, ayoko nang mag-sorry
Ooh, sawa na kong magsisi
Pasensya ka na, mabilis lang akong mataranta

pano n?

2005-09-16T09:47:00.000+08:00

sori mykel!!! ngtext ako ng mga tao pro nakaalis k n..i tried calling you sa bahay but to no avail..umm..sori..tinext lng dn ako n di tuloy..

***

waaa!!! nmat season n..ala p din akong form..start n ng application s uts med ala p din akong form..ang gulo tlga..di ko alm ggwin ko s buhay ko..i mean..cge mag-med nga pero di ko alm kung kakayanin ko kc ngyon pa lng ala n tlga akong ganang mag-aral..what more kung fun n..but i was thinking dn na bka kpag andun nko mas ganahan ako prang i'll find the subjects more interesting..i've really lost my drive to study..hihi..kya yun an gpronlema ko..i was thinking of resting for a yera and maybe work then study again afterwards but that idea is hihgly improbable my parents won't allow me too..have to find the strength to tell them..

it's really hard when people had things figure out for you..and you're afraid to disappoint people..it's even harder when those people whom you expect to help you are actually those pulling you down..and for what reason?
jealousy? or is that just their nature? well..i just don't really know..

song

2005-09-13T16:19:00.001+08:00

Barely Breathing
Duncan Sheik

I know what you're doing
I see it all too clear
I only taste the saline
When I kiss away your tears

You really had me going, wishing on a star
But the black holes that surround you
Are heavier by far
I believed in your confusion
You were so completely torn

Well it must have been that yesterday
Was the day that I was born
There's not much to examineT

There's nothing left to hide
You really can't be serious
If you have to ask me whyI say good-bye...1-'

Cause I am barely breathing
And I can't find the air
I don't know who I'm kidding
Imagining you care, and I could stand here
Waiting a fool for another day

But I don't suppose it's worth the price
Worth the price, the price that I would pay
Everyone keeps asking, what's it all about?
I used to be so certain and I can't figure out
What is this attraction? I only feel the pain
There's nothing left to reason and only you to blame
Will it ever change?

But I'm thinking it over anyway...
I've come to find, I may never know
Your changing mind, is it friend or foe?I
rise above or sink below
With every time you come and go

Please don't, you come and go

song

2005-09-13T16:19:00.000+08:00

vanilla

2005-09-07T13:35:00.000+08:00

life is like a scoop of vanilla ice cream....

it can be to sweet..too plain..too ordinary..

but you find yourself asking for more..

fishing

2005-09-02T10:50:00.000+08:00

let's go fishing!!!

oh it's gonna be fun..i don't know how to..i'll teach you..

take a bait..then throw in the water..then wait..patiently..

i think i got something..that quick? yes..i thought it was hard but i guess it's really easy..here's my catch..what did you do? why did you set it free? the way you caught it was not right..

it never resisted..but i wanted it..i wanted that fish..but it seemed to like you..it wanted to be caught..and maybe eaten..so what's wrong with that?

life's ain't gonna be that easy..it shouldn't be that easy..it's not the right way to catch a fish..how come? coz i say so..

try to catch another fish..and this time the fish must resist..you can't have something that easy..yes, you liked that one but it seemed to be so...

in the end fishing is only a hobby..it's a sport..a game..you have to learn to play it..simply play..

i hate fishing..it's too complicated..

bakit?

2005-08-29T09:35:00.000+08:00

Habang naghahanda para umuwi ng bulacan..
ditse: uy, c joey g. b 'di tlaga original na vocalist ng side A.ako: aba malay ko..di pko buhay nung nagsimula sila..ditse: loko-loko buhay ka na noh..ako: pero wala pakong muwang nun..palibhasa kumakanta ka na ng mga kanta nila nun..hehe..
---end of conversation

Bakit pinakialam ng kapatid mo celfone mo tapos sabay sabi na bat panay babae ang laman ng inbox? (eh ano gus2 mo lalake?)
Bakit ang mga lalake di pdeng mas-holding hands at beso-beso? (ewww)
Bakit ang c.r ng lalake prang di nililinis?
Bakit ang 2 lalake di pdeng magsabay maligo mga babae ok lng? (kadirs)
Bakit ang pangit ng 2 lalake na nagmamasahe? (iba dating eh)
Bakit ugali ng lalake ng pagnagsabi ng sir tunog "ser"? (mas masculine nmn kc db?)
Bakit bihirang masabihan ang lalake na "blooming"?
Bakit 'di nag-cocomplement ang isang guy sa kapwa guy na uy cute nung guy n yun ah?

pbb

2005-08-27T21:38:00.000+08:00

Last night...papunta kami kina richard pra magbasketbol tapos nadaan kmi sa riles ng train tps sbay kaming napatingin ni jelo sa isa't isa tapos parehong nakatawa..

Jelo: Bat ka nakatawa?

ako: ala lng..pagnag-gunbound tyo tapos ksama si richard ung name ng rum gawin nting hamonada (tukso k richard)

Jelo: Haha!! oo nga!! hamonada at super iced tea (isa pang tukson k richard)

ako: or hamonada in the house..

Jelo: Hehe..alam mo ba bakit ako tumatawa kanina?

ako: ano?

Jelo: Naisip ko lng sa may riles kunwari my papadaan na tren tatalon ako bigla sa gitnaako: Ha!? wild naman msyado naiisip mo (feeling super-hero)..napaka-unrealistic..

Jelo: anong 'di realistic dun? sobrang realistic nga nun eh..

ako: sobrang auti n yan..mas malala pa sakin..

*****

Pinoy Big Brother
I've been watching this show for the past few days..well, it's quite amusing pero sh*t..the writersof the show sucks..bigtime!! i've been a big fan of reality t.v..from survivor to the big loser..and i thinksome might say that the colonial thing is at me again..but i was really disgusted with what happened at tonight'sepisode of PBB..well, the participants were made to dress and act as people from th pre-historic..well, that's just crap..i mean, we strive to be world class but what i see from the show is just so lame..all the challenges are so lame andso simple..i know i'm in no position to say such the things but the writers of the show should do a much better job..it'sa reality t.v they shouldn't hold back..try to raise the bar..the participants are like guinea pigs..
****